Autistic burnout support

Is there anyone else on this app dealing with a heavy autistic burnout?

For me it was the very reason I got diagnosed. Adhd alone and depression didn’t explain that I was failing at every aspect of life.

I’ve lost the ability to mask.

My brain is so clouded that I can’t think. I can’t remember anything. I feel so dumb.

I don’t know how to make friends and I have no one around me that is even slightly supportive of my circumstances. (My mom literally sarcastically said how ‘pathetic’ I am - not even seeing that I’m drowning)

I don’t know how to get back into society. I’ve withdrawn from everything since February. I feel slightly better than I did when I was trying to make friends (because I just ended up hating the version I tried to portray, as I just saw myself struggling, unable to mask, yet unable to be myself (because who even am I???))

I’ve also been homeless for all those months, so I’ve been petsitting for accommodation. As you can imagine, the constant change of environment doesn’t help :’)

Luckily I’m getting government subsides because of the burnout, and I only have to work for 1 or 2 days a week.

Oh but did I mention that my therapy is ending and waiting lists are over a year in my country..

Because all of this, I feel light years away from society. I haven’t had actual friends for years, I have no idea what my identity is like, I don’t have a home and I barely work. I don’t go outside, other than my grocery runs and mandatory nature walks (which I don’t even enjoy anymore). Professional help seems out of reach. I have nothing to work towards, I don’t have dreams or goals anymore.

I usually don’t open up like this; but here’s to self improvement.

I’d love to connect with others who find themselves in a somewhat similar situation (or really just any other autistic person).