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The Struggle of Being Autistic and Identifying Emotions
by Jenna
Last post
October 26th
...See more **Disclaimer** I cannot and do not speak for all autistic people. As an autistic person, one of the biggest challenges I face is identifying and understanding my emotions. It’s not that I don’t feel emotions. In fact, I often experience them intensely, but I struggle to recognize and label them. This disconnect between feeling something deeply and not being able to articulate it can be confusing and overwhelming. Sometimes, emotions feel like a wave crashing over me, but I can't tell if it's sadness, anger, or frustration. Other times, I know something is off, but I can’t pinpoint exactly what it is. It's like having a whirlwind of feelings inside but no clear way to describe the storm. I might react to something, and later when I reflect, I realize I was angry or anxious, but in the moment, it was just a blur of overwhelming sensations. The process of identifying emotions can feel even more daunting for many autistic people because there’s often pressure to explain how they're feeling to others, but finding the right words doesn’t come easily. I tend to rely more on physical cues, like noticing if my body is tense, my breathing shallow, or my heart racing, as a way to recognize what I’m feeling. Sometimes it’s easier to express a feeling through a sound, like a sigh or groan, than to find the exact word to describe it. What adds to the challenge is that neurotypical people often expect quick, clear emotional responses. But for many of us with autism or neurodivergence, emotions take time to process. It can feel like we're on a delay, needing space to sit with what’s going on inside before we can understand or talk about it. I’ve had to learn that it’s okay to take that time and not rush to name my emotions if I’m not ready. Being autistic means we process the world differently, and that includes emotions. It’s a journey to understand them, and sometimes, we have to be patient with ourselves, accepting that we don’t always have the answers right away. I’ve learned to explore my emotions through journaling, creating art, or even just sitting with a feeling without trying to label it immediately. The struggle to identify emotions is real, but over time, I’ve come to see it as part of my unique way of experiencing life. For anyone else out there who shares this struggle, know that it’s okay not to have everything figured out all at once. Emotions can be complex, and finding your own way of understanding them is a process. Why Is It Difficult? * Alexithymia: A significant number of autistic people experience alexithymia, a condition where we struggle to identify and describe our own emotions. This doesn’t mean we don’t feel emotions; instead, we find it hard to pinpoint what those emotions are or how they connect to our experiences. For example, someone might feel an overwhelming physical sensation (like a knot in their stomach) but may not realize that they are anxious or upset. * Sensory Overload: Many autistic people experience sensory sensitivities, which can lead to sensory overload. When overwhelmed by stimuli like loud noises, bright lights, or even social environments, the body and mind can react intensely. In these situations, it can be hard to differentiate between physical discomfort and emotional states. For instance, an environment that feels overstimulating may trigger frustration, but the frustration itself might be difficult to separate from the overwhelming sensory input. * Nuanced Emotions: Emotions often come in layers or blends (e.g., feeling both happy and sad at the same time). Identifying these complex emotional states can be challenging for anyone, but for those on the spectrum, this complexity can feel especially confusing. Autistic people might struggle to name nuanced emotions, such as feeling bittersweet, relieved but nervous, or nostalgic. * Social-Emotional Processing: Interpreting others’ emotions can also be difficult, which in turn complicates identifying one's own emotions. Social cues that neurotypical individuals pick up on such as facial expressions, tone of voice, or body language may be harder to interpret for those on the spectrum. This can create a disconnection between what an autistic person feels internally and how they understand the emotional dynamics around them. * Communication Barriers: Language may not always feel like an appropriate tool for expressing emotions. Many autistic people may struggle with verbalizing their feelings, not because they don’t understand them, but because words don’t seem to fully capture the intensity or quality of what they’re experiencing. Non-verbal expressions like sounds, movements, or even art can sometimes be more effective than trying to 'find the right words.' The Emotional Disconnect Because emotions and their physical manifestations may not always align clearly, autistic individuals can experience a sense of emotional disconnect. For instance, they may feel strong emotions but not show them in a way that others expect, leading to misunderstandings in social situations. Conversely, they may appear visibly upset or anxious without being fully aware of the underlying emotional cause. Strategies for Identifying Emotions * Body Awareness: Focusing on physical sensations can be a starting point for identifying emotions. For example, noticing a tightness in the chest may signal stress or anxiety, while a lightness in the body might indicate joy. By tuning into these signals, individuals can begin to make connections between what they feel physically and emotionally. * Emotional Charts or Apps: Visual aids, such as emotion charts or mood-tracking apps, can be helpful for identifying emotions. These break down emotions into basic categories, making it easier to recognize patterns and link feelings to specific experiences. * Routine Emotional Check-ins: Scheduling regular emotional check-ins throughout the day can help build emotional awareness. Asking questions like, “How do I feel right now?” and “What might have caused this feeling?” can develop a habit of reflection, helping us recognize emotions more readily over time. * Creative Expression: Art, music, or other creative outlets can be powerful ways to express emotions when words aren’t enough. Drawing how an emotion feels, playing a musical piece that reflects a mood, or even writing poetry can offer alternative avenues for emotional understanding and communication. * Seeking Support: Working with a therapist or counselor experienced in autism can also provide valuable insights. These professionals can guide us through recognizing our emotions and offering techniques and frameworks that are tailored to our specific needs and experiences. Being autistic doesn’t mean someone is emotionless or lacks empathy; rather, it means their emotional landscape might operate differently. By acknowledging these challenges and providing supportive tools and strategies, we can foster greater emotional self-awareness and communication for autistic people. With understanding, patience, and compassion, we can help create a space where identifying and expressing emotions feels safe and achievable.
Autism Automated Taglist!
by tommy
Last post
October 24th
...See more Welcome to the Autism Taglist This thread is an auto-updating list. The list is regularly updated by forum leaders and can be found below. Having issues? Reply below and someone will help you! Why should I join the taglist? ✔ Never miss out on sub-community check-ins, discussions or events ✔ Get tagged and notified by community leaders whenever a new relevant thread has been posted ✔ Become a more active member of the community. What do I need to do? ✅ To add yourself to this taglist, press the Post to Thread button below and write the exact words Please add me. ❌ To remove yourself from this taglist, press the Post to Thread button below and write the exact words Please remove me. ------------------------- Current taglist as of 29 Dec (updated by tommy) @Alwayshungry983 @AutiBoy @azuladragon34 @beck1 @courteousCoconut2519 @Fozziewozzie @GwydionRowan @HarmonyBlossom @HatsEatYou @Howegeorgia @Jenna @JovianPlutonian @JustMeUwU @llemonz @LoveMyMoonflowers @NeurospicyGirl @NightOwl2003 @pineapple7722 @Plantsaremybestfriends @RainbowRosie @sentientape @silentbuster26 @SillyBlue32 @SleepyShyCat @smolLITTLEpotato @softParadise5949 @Stasia86 @StressedGirl @SunnyCat0 @teenytinyturtle @theboymoana @tommy @Trosclair03 @Twigo7 @unassumingPeach6421 @Vivikun9 @wishfulWillow6962 @Zahrian2112
5 Things You Shouldn’t Say to Someone on the Autism Spectrum
by Jenna
Last post
October 17th
...See more Although the general public has become more aware of autism, there’s still a long way to go. The autistic community has commonly been told some phrases that we frankly don’t want to hear. These comments can be ignorant and hurtful, even with good intentions. Here are five things you shouldn’t say to someone on the autism spectrum. 1) “You can’t possibly be autistic” Why would you flat-out deny something I know I am? It’s not up to you to decide who is autistic! We often get this comment when others hear that we have a relationship, a job, a child, or an educational qualification. They become skeptical and say, “But you’re doing so well. You can’t possibly be autistic!” Unusually, we also get this from those who are very familiar with autism. A parent might say, “You’re not autistic! You’re nothing like my autistic child who can’t do anything independently.” The truth is that everyone with autism is different and a diagnosis is not destiny. We consider it prejudiced to assume that autistic people are all lost causes who can’t possibly succeed in life. We can be capable of so much if we have an open mind. 2) “You must be good at math” Not this misconception again! We get it, you’ve heard too many negative things about autism and you want to compliment us instead. But again, we’re all different. People on the autism spectrum have just as much variety as those outside it. This includes our abilities, which don’t always match the media stereotype. Some of us are great at math and some of us are terrible. Some of us are natural with computers and some of us are technologically illiterate. Some of us are savants and some of us struggle intellectually. Just like you, there’s no single profile of our mental abilities. Putting some abilities on a pedestal can exclude autistic people who lack those abilities and make them feel inferior. 3) “You don’t look autistic. You seem so normal” What does this even mean? How does someone look autistic? How does someone look normal? We’re physically no different from the rest of you. There’s no way for someone to look autistic at all. This comment is even worse if this is supposed to be a compliment. It suggests that seeming “autistic” is inferior and seeming “normal” is an ideal standard. We’re just different from you and we don’t want to be forced to be someone we’re not. 4) “What’s it like to be autistic?” What a strange and generic question. I might as well ask you, “What’s it like to be not autistic?” We don’t even know where to begin to answer this. Being autistic is everything we know. It’s in every single experience we have from day to day. Also, there’s no unified autistic life experience. Every autistic person has their own unique life, with experiences different from the others. Are there any experiences that are universally shared between all of us? Sure. We all get asked these silly questions. 5) “Everyone’s on the autism spectrum” No, they’re not. Trust me. Those who make this comment are suggesting that everyone understands and shares our struggles to some degree. Is this supposed to make us feel better? Well, it doesn’t work, because it’s a totally false suggestion. Others don’t know what it’s like to be autistic and never will. As funny as it is to say, only autistic people are autistic. This comment isn’t reassuring, it’s totally dismissive of our unique struggles and experiences. Have you heard any of the comments mentioned in the article? References Brown, L. (2012, February 27). 15 Things You Should Never Say To An Autistic. AWN. https://awnnetwork.org/15-things-you-should-never-say-to-an-autistic/ Hirschberg, E. (2017, December 13). What To Say & What Not To Say To Someone With Autism. Research Autism. https://researchautism.org/what-to-say-what-not-to-say-to-someone-with-autism/ [https://researchautism.org/what-to-say-what-not-to-say-to-someone-with-autism/] Stout, A. (2016, July 6). 11 Things Not to Say to Someone with Autism. The Autism Site. https://blog.theautismsite.greatergood.com/dont-say-autism/ [https://blog.theautismsite.greatergood.com/dont-say-autism/] credit [x [https://psych2go.net/5-things-you-shouldnt-say-to-someone-on-the-autism-spectrum/]]
Happy Halloween 🎃🎃 Comfort items - Autism Support
by RainbowRosie
Last post
November 4th
...See more Hellooooo ….Rosie here checking in and wishing you a Happy Halloween 🎃👻👻👻🎃 How is everyone doing? Ok I hope 😀 Do you have any plans for celebrating Halloween? Party, film 🍿 👻 The street where I live they’re having a party to celebrate Halloween 🎃 so I’ll pop by to say hello before getting cosy to watch TV.  Talking about getting cosy and feeling comfortable…what makes you feel safe…do you have any comfort things/ items?  Please feel free to share…pop by to say hello…or give a 👍 I’d love to hear from you!  🌹
Hobbies…and Happy October - Autism Support 🌹
by RainbowRosie
Last post
October 30th
...See more Hi everyone Rosie here, just checking in to say hello to you all 👋  and offering a warm welcome to any newbies 🌹 It’s always around this time of the year I tend to pick up a new hobby. This time it’s macrame and I’m having fun making key rings for family and friends. YouTube is my teacher and there’s so many videos to choose from!  What hobbies do you have? 😀 Please feel free to share or if you’d rather not, no problem. If you fancy just popping by to say ‘hi’ please do, I’d love to meet you! ❤️❤️
Autism Automated Taglist!
by tommy
Last post
October 24th
...See more Welcome to the Autism Taglist This thread is an auto-updating list. The list is regularly updated by forum leaders and can be found below. Having issues? Reply below and someone will help you! Why should I join the taglist? ✔ Never miss out on sub-community check-ins, discussions or events ✔ Get tagged and notified by community leaders whenever a new relevant thread has been posted ✔ Become a more active member of the community. What do I need to do? ✅ To add yourself to this taglist, press the Post to Thread button below and write the exact words Please add me. ❌ To remove yourself from this taglist, press the Post to Thread button below and write the exact words Please remove me. ------------------------- Current taglist as of 29 Dec (updated by tommy) @Alwayshungry983 @AutiBoy @azuladragon34 @beck1 @courteousCoconut2519 @Fozziewozzie @GwydionRowan @HarmonyBlossom @HatsEatYou @Howegeorgia @Jenna @JovianPlutonian @JustMeUwU @llemonz @LoveMyMoonflowers @NeurospicyGirl @NightOwl2003 @pineapple7722 @Plantsaremybestfriends @RainbowRosie @sentientape @silentbuster26 @SillyBlue32 @SleepyShyCat @smolLITTLEpotato @softParadise5949 @Stasia86 @StressedGirl @SunnyCat0 @teenytinyturtle @theboymoana @tommy @Trosclair03 @Twigo7 @unassumingPeach6421 @Vivikun9 @wishfulWillow6962 @Zahrian2112
Whoosh and Happy September - Autism Support 🌹
by RainbowRosie
Last post
September 9th
...See more Hi everyone, Where has the month gone…time seems to go so quickly and whoosh we’ve now stepped into September! How are you doing?  For me, work has been so very busy and taken up so much of my headspace. It’s only now it’s slowed down a little that I’ve been thinking about self care. I’m definitely prioritising my self care. I do enjoy a bit shopping so yesterday I had a lovely day out. Retail therapy certainly works for me! I feel great too.. What works for you?  Please do feel free to share. I’d love to hear from you. Alternatively if you don’t want to answer, not a problem, do drop by to say ‘hi’ 😀 I’d love to meet you ❤️ Thanks Rosie 🌹
Friend feeling like I crossed the line
by Summershy
Last post
March 6th
...See more Hi: I live on the autism spectrum and I was told today that the way I handled a situation poorly.    First of all,  I have been carrying a grudge against a fake friend who I went to school with because she has never really treated me very well.   However, I had been in contact with another close friend of hers as we were getting along so well.   Though I had been thinking about reconnecting with the fake friend, I did some thinking and felt that she wasn't very nice to me.   Additionally, I had not spoken with this person for over 12 years since she jerked me around on social media and then blocked me.    In the meantime, I had been talking to her friend who has been getting false information from this person about why she doesn't talk to me.   When this close friend and I first talked, the other person wanted to work on forgiving me. Well, after some time, I had a chance to re-evaluate the relationship and felt like this person was a jerk to me as well as extremely manipulative.    So I wrote her a letter using "I feel," statements in mentioning why and what not.  Well, her close friend came back and attacked me for sending a nasty letter.   She also said that she didn't want to talk to me anymore because I said mean things.  However, this person didn't contact me herself.  When I went to talk about it with a friend, she told me that she said it was not a good idea to send a letter.   This was because this former fake friend and I had not been in contact recently.   She said that it would have been better for me to tell her close friend without overly explaining myself.   Moreover, she said that it seemed like I wrote that letter out of a lot of unchecked anger.   Honestly, I think that she is probably right because I have been mad at her for a while.   However, I am not going to beat myself up for calling out a bad friend for the way that she hurt me in the past. 
Sensory Integration and Processing
by SparklingSeashells
Last post
November 13th, 2023
...See more Hiya everyone. I haven't seen much on the forum about sensory overload, and as it's something I've been learning about after my own assessnent, I thought I'd write a bit, share some knowledge and share some acknowledgement to those struggling. People primarily think of there being five senses, but there are now eight recognised ones. Visual, auditory, gustatory (taste), tactile, olfactory (smell), vesitublar (balance), proprioceptive (movement), and interoceptive (internal). The last three, you may not have heard much about. Vestibular is to do with the receptors in your ears. This sense in particular can really help to regulate, so you may see others, or you yourself may rock to regulate. My body knew it needed it even before my assessment so I did it occasionally before being encouraged to do it more. Proprioceptive can be really helpful to ground ourselves. Our coordination is linked to this sense. You may be really good at small, fiddly tasks, but find it harder to do gross motor activities, such as driving, where your whole body is needed, or vice versa. Interoception is a hard one, and still much more research is taking place. This is the sense that tells us if we are hungry, thirsty, too hot, even down to our emotions. So sometimes we may not recognise these sensations, mistake them for others, feel them in unusual parts of our body, or be overwhelmed by them. For people who struggle with sensory issues, each sense will either be modulation, discrimination, or both. Modulation is being overwhelmed by a sense, in simple terms, and discrimination is having a hard time perceiving it. It might be that we don't recognise it, or don't know whether it is important or not for our brain to process. Having both modulation and discrimination for a sense is very hard, as many won't recognise the 0-99 but be so overwhelmed at the 100, so it is harder to work on it before reaching a meltdown point. So what can you do to help yourself? This will very much be personal to you, for it is determined by each sense, and what you need more of, or are overwhelmed by. Sometimes, we can aid ourselves by using senses together, for example using both touch and vision to find something in a bag. As I listed above, some senses are particularly helpful for regulating, and stimming strategies will help, whatever they look like to you. They can help both in the moment, and if you know something is coming up, you can use these strategies before. Some people use them everyday, at a regular interval. Sometimes it will be very natural and your body will help you know what to do. Things like music are helpful. Outsider's may question, how it can help if you get auditory overload, but you are in control of it. It may not be effective for some people. To all the people struggling, you are not alone. It's okay to let your mask down. Its okay to need different things to others. Please don't best yourself up for it. Its a lot of info but thought someone might benefit from it. Happy to answer any questions to the best of my ability 💜
Has Autism vs Autistic: A Quick Comparison of Person-First and Identity-First Languages
by RainbowTrie
Last post
February 4th, 2021
...See more Has Autism vs Autistic: A Quick Comparison of Person-First and Identity-First Languages By: RainbowTrie When referring to someone on the autism spectrum, there are generally two options. You could refer to them as: A. A person WITH AUTISM (or a person who HAS AUTISM) or B. An AUTISTIC person Option A is an example of Person-First language. The idea is to address the person first and the disability second in an effort to be more humanizing and avoid degrading slurs. It is often used by medical professionals, habilitation therapists, and some parents. Option B is an example of Identity-First language. It is gaining popularity within autistic communities and is supported due to the encompassing nature of autism. Many individuals embrace autism as a major part of their identity and dont consider their personhood to be separated from it. Neither option is entirely correct or incorrect. Rather, both come with their own set of pros and cons. Always respect the choice of the autistic individual should they make it known. If the individual is a child, respect the choice of their parent. If youre worried about making a mistake, the best thing to do is just ask. Theyll be glad you did – as it shows that youre knowledgeable, aware, and considerate of their disability. Some people have a strong preference for either Person-First or Identity-First language and some dont care either way. The most important thing is that we respect the right of autistic individuals to be addressed in a way that they find accepting and compassionate. More Resources: 1. I [http://autisticadvocacy.org/home/about%C2%A0asan/identity%C2%A0first%C2%A0language/]dentity First Language Overview 2. Using the Word Autistic VS Saying Someone Has Autism [http://lovinadoptin.com/2015/01/27/its-in-a-word-autistic-vs-has-autism/] 3. Examples of using Person-First and Identity-First Language [http://www.inclusionproject.org/nip_userfiles/file/People%20First%20Chart.pdf]
Why Allistic Parents/Guardians Need Autistic Friends
by Xenologer
Last post
February 24th, 2018
...See more https://timetolisten.blogspot.com/2014/05/you-yes-you-need-autistic-friends.html So your child was just diagnosed with autism. Breathe. Breathe deeper. Relax. It'll all be ok. But you have some work to do. The first thing you need to do isn't find therapists. It isn't commiserate with other parents. It isn't become an AAC expert (though all of these things have their place!). It's something not in the autism introduction packet: you need to connect on a human level with adults like your child. You need to go make some Autistic friends. I don't mean a mentoring relationship, though those are extremely important and I am a big fan of mentoring (and mentoring your child & being friends with you are not mutually exclusive). I definitely don't mean "translate my child to me" (which is not a friend thing particularly). I mean find local Autistic adults with whom you have common interests and connect as equal human adult people. There are a whole lot of reasons this is the best thing you can do for your child: The link has a lot of reasons why this would be extremely helpful. It seems like we have at least as many allistic people in this forum looking to understand us as we do autistic people looking for support from one another, and those can be very different needs. They can still be compatible needs when allistic people are willing to relate to us as peers, though, and that's always easier to do when we're socially present as something other than improvement projects or half-people who need to be completed before we are relatable. Adult autistics are like your kids. The better roots you have in the community, the more support both you and your kid will have.

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