think ive been seeking attention, lately

hey

i'm just a loner.. a student, who has been going through depression and anxiety for years now. i've been through a lot but thats now why i'm here now

well i never thought i'd say this out loud one day but .. i feel like i'm seeking attention from ppl around me like all the time . i'd even lie to get that . feels like i'm so needy, emotionally .. and thinking about it i just feel .. pethatic mostly

i never needed anyone, i always enjoyed my loneliness. but now i found myself looking for friends, looking for love, pretdending? to be sick or something . just to feel .. cared for and its never enough . like i'm asking something but i'm not feeling it i'm not getting it . just saying that makes me hate myself even more

i guess you guys will be like . 'everyone god their thing going on' it doesnt make me feel any better about myself as a person.

i always been forgotten . it never bothered me . why now