Tell me there is no rule-book for the 'right' conversation..
Hey! It's wonderful to come across this community here to share my experience with. As a person with social anxiety, i have spent so many years living in a shell, that i don't know what would living outside of it be like. I want to grow out of it and be able to converse with people but what is keeping me back is that I am doubting if I can even do a conversation 'right' because i have never had a conversation without falling in the anxious loop and people pleasing patterns which end up with me back in the shell.
Any tips on how to break the loop or hearing from anybody having taken the brave step? That would be super helpful. Anything to make me a little hopeful that social anxiety can be grown out of.
Hi @bluemarble1
Yes it definitely can be grown out of. Every day I do things I could not have done 20 or 30 years ago! Tiny, baby steps forward all add up. What feels easiest to you? for example, if going out and talking to people feels too much maybe you could break it up into stepping stones, for example: text communication > phone > video call > in person.
There is no one rule book for having a conversation. Lots of people have rules, but they don't really all match up. There are general rules (i.e. don't hit people, don't criticise directly, take it in turns and listen as well as talk) but also cultural and personal differences. You might like to come up with your own rules for yourself so that you know you can stay safe (boundaries). And have a script prepared to help you get you away from situations if you don't feel safe.
That is great that you are aware of your people-pleasing and anxiety patterns. 💛