Social anxiety and school
I've just felt on the edge lately. My anxiety has always been present when I began going to community college, and just a few months ago it began getting worse and worse to where I started getting panic attacks. I sometimes have no reason behind panicking, I just do it. And it's beginning to interfere with my school work so much that I want to drop out. I'm on my second year here and everyone seems to know what they're doing, I feel so behind but I do all I can do to continue. I just feel if I stay in school I'll go insane. My family looks up to me so much and are a major help to me financially, I just feel like I'll become a disappointment. I want to disappear.
@braveCoconut
It sounds like you are feeling quite a lot of pressure right now and are experiencing a fear of failure and letting you family down? These things can build up and we end up feeling like we have the weight of the world on us and a pressure to be good at everything we do. If this pressure isn't addressed in some way or given a perspective it can overwhelm us and manifest itself in a variety of ways - for you that sounds like anxiety.
You have been so brave sharing here and I wonder if you have any you can share these feelings with? Whether that be a friend or college counselor or even a listener her? Sometimes just being able to explore your thoughts and feelings - talking them through can help you find a way of managing them? If that feels too difficult perhaps journaling them might benefit you too? If you feel behind at college do you feel able to talk to a tutor and ask for guidance in how to catch up?
In times of stress it is really important to make and take that 'me time' time to focus on what you want rather than meet others expectations. Please know you are not alone and you can talk to others here who understand when you are ready - look after you
I'm sorry you have to go through all this. You have a lot on your plate.
Have you considered going into therapy? Social anxiety is very treatable and with practice you will get better at handling it. Also, have you told your family about your anxiety? Just talking to someone can help tremendously. If for personal reasons you'd rather not tell them, there's plenty of awesome listeners here on 7Cups and I hope they'll be able to help you.
I can understand you feel like you'll become a disappointment, but I really don't think that will happen. Having anxiety issues does nothing to your worth as a person. It doesn't make you weak, it doesn't make you a failure, it doesn't make you a disappointment. Everyone has personal issues, some worse than others, but we all have them. In my mind, the beauty of family is being able to share your issues without being judged and instead being treated with love and compassion.
That being said, it took me a LONG time to tell my family about my depression and social anxiety. Even the thought about telling them made me incredibly anxious. But I'm glad I did. You'll be amazed at how much it helps to have the continuous support from the people you love.