How to find the strength to try to make a friend again?
I'm 21 and I haven't made any new close-ish friends in the past six years. When I graduated highschool, most of my close friends were people I had been friends with since middle or elementary school. They've since all left and gone off to colleges and made new friends there... while I've stayed home, since my disability ended up requiring me to be an online student. They now respond to my texts less and less each day, with a good deal dropping me entirely. I've never been good with making new friends (for reasons unknown). I used to be outgoing when I was younger, and have tried to force myself to be in the years since, but no one's ever really interested in me. I've even invited people places, and they've all either not shown up or they went without me (despite it being my idea).
I can't live without people, but after my experiences... I just don't know if I can keep trying. How does one find the strength and motivation to try again?
@turquoiseHemlock900
Hi! That must be challenging, seeing your friends all go off to college, and disappointing that they have not kept in touch better or been more thoughtful of you. I am sure it feels rather personal, but going to college is a huge thing and it is quite likely that has taken all their attention and they just let some other things go. I have noticed that some kids grow up into totally different people, and turn into not-very-friendly people. Good friends can vanish and change personality, it might not be permanent but we don't know for sure.
What are you studying? Do you get involved in study groups and getting to know the other online students? What are your other interests and hobbies? Could you join local clubs, classes, and groups and meet more like-minded people that share other things in common? It does take effort and practise. This is just what worked for me, you might find other things also. Socialising in life is quite different to how it happens at school, and it takes time to adjust. And be kind to yourself while you are feeling loss and grieving for your old friend group. There are billions of people out there, and it is quite likely there are many that will be truly great friends, you just have to find them. 💛