How do I start conversations and keep them going?

@purpledoggo5900

Firstly, you need to oust completely the fear of self embarrassment. You feel shy to interact freely with the people because you have the fear of being judged. What you need to understand is no person on this earth is exempted from being judged. May be it a politician, a celebrity, or common people like us. You hardly would find anyone who is not judged in this society. So its nothing to be feared of because its an inevitable thing in life. So at the end of day, think that why to fear that which is inevitable ? Why to fear being judged by people as its an inevitable thing ?

Secondly, while interacting with people, do not try to immitate some one else's way of talking or do not try to be sophisticated intentionally. Just interact the way you are and in a free manner. Present yourself in your own true form. This will help you in reducing your mental pressure for sure

@purpledoggo5900

Asking open ended questions about people's interests is a good way to let the other person do more of the talking. It also inspires more thought than what a yes or no sort of answer would which can lead to more questions.

@purpledoggo5900

I would start with role-playing these situations first, or trying it with a safe individual before you jump into new people. Gain some practice and I would really echo what was already said. Ask open-ended questions. Jump in and share something about yourself that's relevant. Try it like practicing a new skill. The more you do it, the easier it should get.

These are all great ideas! I need to keep them in mind at the next party I have to go to! Thanks.

support to help me get through my panic attacts

I've struggled with social anxiety (and still do, occasionally). To directly answer your question:

1) Keeping calm:
-Taking pauses before speaking helps.
-Accepting awkward silences/natural pauses in conversations also helps.
-If you find yourself getting flustered, you can interject with, "That's a great question. I think I need a moment to think about that, actually." or something along those lines.
-Doing something while you're talking with others will allow you shift attention away from yourself when you're feeling anxious. Something as simple as taking a sip from your soda and commenting on how sweet it is or commenting on someone's shoes will divert the attention away from you momentarily so you'll have time to collect your thoughts.

2) Possible conversation topics:
I like employing questions/conversation topics that are a little out of the ordinary. So instead of asking, "What do you do for work?" you could ask more interesting questions like, "What about your job makes you happy/fulfilled?" Or instead of, "What do you do for fun?" you could ask "What's the most exciting thing you've ever done?" Or you could ask, "When was the last time you found yourself extremely happy?" Having a prepared list of these 'more interesting' kinds of questions in your head may help you get to know people on a more intimate level. Rather than getting to know where they work and what they do, you may discover how they feel about things, what their values are, etc.

3) Keeping a conversation going:
This can be tough since you don't want to keep a conversation going that isn't going anywhere. However, when you truly want to know more information about someone or from someone, you should just ask. Even if you're boucing around from topic to topic, people tend to enjoy talking about themselves and don't mind being questioned about things if the listener seems genuinely interested.

If you find that a conversation has lulled or you're discussing something that you don't understand/have nothing to contribute, you could plainly say, "Wow, I don't know anything about that. Tell me what it's like/what it's about." There's nothing wrong with admitting that you don't know something and usually, people are more than happy to explain things to people with open, curious minds.

Hope this helps. Good luck! <3