toxic family pushed me off the edge
My mom passed away in 2011 from brain/lung cancer. I decided to move in with a friend. That didn't work out after about a year so I decided to move in with family.
At this time, it was maybe 2013 and I figured out the hard way just how toxic my mother's side of the family really was/is. I was always the type to say no to medications when it came to anxiety. Until they finally got to me by them gaslighting me all the time (ex: "your boyfriend doesnt love you he just visits to get into your pants, the flowers he sends will stop coming after that") . I finally took medication because I was in breakdown mode because the passive aggressive attitude they had.
fast foward to 2015. Apparently I started having "twitches" or "tics" spazms, not sure what to call em, and I always pushed the thought aside when it happened until Yesterday. I had thought maybe it was new medication causing it when I learned from my husband that I've had this since the last year I had to live even Close to my family. They really stressed me out. My relative had come up with a story that she had to talk to me about "something" without my husband around and that she knew I was "lying", yelled at me the night before moving until I was in tears.
So Here's my question for y'all. Just curious, does anyone else have an anxiety/ocd twitching issue? I'm lucky because it isn't stopping me from day to day life or anything at all. Though I am surprised I've been doing it for so much longer than I thought.
@spongymoth34
Yes I have that. And it happened from similar situations. 😔 That’s inspiring you don’t let it affect or effect your life!
@tallBanana7924
I'm sorry you went through some things as well, 😞 thank you so much for your reply!! It's nice to know i'm not alone in this !!
Appreciate you! 👏 😄
@spongymoth34
Time goes fast doesn’t it? Like I think about how long I’ve been dealing and it’s like whoa, okay, well, guess I’ll just keep going then! Not that there’s another more excellent option, eh. 😝
It really does go fast!!! It is also strange to look back because it feels like a different life or chapter or like someone else entirely had experienced it !
hope you are well!
@spongymoth34
Yes it does, doesn’t it? Then sometimes it’s like ‘whoa, wait. That was me. That IS me.’ And then for me an existential crisis kicks in, lol! Seriously though it’s quite an experience this life. I love when I’m calm and know everything is and will be okay.
I'm sorry your mom's side of the family stressed you out to that level :( i hope you're at peace at this moment.
I do have anxiety tics, i don't know what to call it but now that i think about it they must be tics. I start doing these gagging sounds and i can't stop until I've gagged properly? Like instead of holding back i sort of go inside the room and finish that. I can control it enough tho, it's funny i didn't realise people around me had noticed it when I didn't even know...
Also i get breathless even before I know something's happening, sometimes I'm not even in a high state of stress but just the phase of stressful situation makes me breathless, it's like my body is telling me to cool down my engine (or i just have a medical condition idk! Yikes!)
Thank you so much! I hope you are at peace at the moment as well ! I am in a much better place now, moved far away and now live with my husband! (: best decision of my life tbh!!
ahh i clear my throat all the time I feel that! Yeah it's interesting because I can control it more during the day when i'm out but it gets more constant when I rest!! Oh same when I found that out the other day I was like oh this has been going on for how long?! Lol
that might be an anxiety thing! Sort of like the fight or flight how your body gets the signals. I hope no medical conditions!! Ive had like three lung infections so I get winded and stuff as well! Hang in there!!!