getting help for anxiety
Hi! After being on a gap year i'm starting university in less than a month, which i am very excited about but also all the anxiety related to it is eating me alive. I'm trying to keep myself busy so i won't think about it but i always end up thinking doing that when i'm trying to sleep and i just feel like i can't breathe. I have been struggling with the feeling of anxiety for years but i have never got the courage to get help. My social life has pretty much died completely because i always cancelled going out with my friends when they asked me, during my gap year the only people i have spent time with are my sister and parents. I feel like i have missed out so many things in life most people have experienced, like sleepovers, and i can probably count the times i actually spent time with my friends during the past three years with just my ten fingers. I feel really really lonely but honestly no one else can be blamed but me. I want to feel more "normal" and get help once i start uni, but obviously the idea of asking for help is terrifying. Can i get any advice related to getting help, or stories on how you got help for anxiety? 
@sinclair
Hi, I completely understand what you are going through. I have struggled with both social and general anxiety. In my past I have felt like I've lost most of my friends due to my social anxiety. It sucks, but it's important to remember that everyone has their own timeline and that you are not behind in life. What helped me get through my struggle is both a change in environment and seeing a therapist. I know it can be scary and feel extremely vulnerable to ask for help but therapists are there to provide non judgemental support that can be very helpful. I'm sure in college you will be able to meet people just like you and that have similar interests, that's one of the things colleges is for. Lastly, I am very proud of you for trying to reach out and get help. You are not alone and remember that you don't need to change for anyone. I hope this helps.
Take Care!
@magneticShoulder3193 What you said is definitely correct! The idea of college is so exciting to me because it might finally give me an opportunity to gain friends with similar interests! Thank you for your kind words, getting help definitely makes me nervous but deep down i know it will be worth it.
@sinclair
Hi, there's so much I would like to tell you. Some of those things I have summarized below:
1. I am proud of you for taking a self-care break, and now having the courage to resume studying.
2. Since this is something you are excited about, whenever you feel anxiety arising, try and divert your focus on the good parts about which you're excited. Even more so, when you're not anxious, chart down the positives and good things you're looking forward to, so that whenever you are not in a good position, it'll be easier to recollect these points. This should help you feel better, I hope.
3. Since you mentioned that it aggravates when your mind is free (sleep time), I would recommend keeping good podcasts or music handy and playing the same. Or if you are into guided meditations, drift into sleep slumber whilst listening to them. This should help you to sleep better, and worry lesser.
4. You have a lot of good years ahead of you. Social life is not something you should be worried about. That can be rebuilt. But it should be within your comfort and only when you feel like you're ready to socialize. Also, true friends would always stick or come around. As for those who are not true, often a person is better-off without them. Adding to the same, you have an opportunity to make new friends at the uni. So, do not let this bug you.
Forcefully socializing and hampering your mental health is worse than not socializing, I believe. Did you enjoy the break? If not, I would recommend making the most of your "me-time". It is only then that you're better equipped to face the world.
5. Do NOT blame yourself for taking care of yourself. Whatever must be done for this is necessary. So, do not feel bad about choosing your good health over other people.
6. I am sure there is something you're good at, or something you wish to learn. Whenever you feel lonely, embrace the aforementioned. This will not only help to divert your mind but also, I believe, would make you feel better. Alternatively, sometimes, watch comedy shows or movies or something that would uplift your mood. On the same note, try and avoid sad songs or shows etc (if you do hear/see them). That will only further dampen your mood or aggravate worries.
7. You always have 7cups here for you. You may turn to it anytime you need to talk or anytime you don't feel so good. Apart from this, maintain a journal or reach out to the needy when you feel good. Doing this may help you feel better, or connect with others better.
@WhiteAura108 Wow, i can't put into words how much it means to me that someone read my post and took time to give such lenghty and great answer. Gap year was definitely good for my mental health, though i did have some bad times but it made me realize getting help is what i need and should do. Your advice of focusing on the good parts when i'm anxious is something that i will do my best to keep in mind!
I do like listening to podcast, so i will give a try to that, as well as the guided meditation since i sometimes have a really hard time relaxing when i'm trying to sleep. What you said about not forcing myself to socialize is true and i'll keep that in my mind. I do draw a lot, because i enjoy it but also to keep my mind away from loneliness, other times i keep myself busy with watching shows and movies. I started to use 7 cups again because i felt quite heavy, opening up in here has already eased my mind.
Once again, thank you for your answer, it helped a lot.
@sinclair
Hey, thanks so much for responding! I am glad my thoughts helped you feel a bit better. This encourages me to reach out to more people. So, thanks a bunch to you, too!
I am glad that you have drawing to turn to. Any creative outlet is very helpful to pour thoughts and emotions in a healthy way. And when you look back at your creations, you'd notice how far you've come.
I am glad you had the courage to turn to 7cups in times of need. Remember that this place is always here for you.
Wish you a very lovely and brilliant start at the Uni!
