Replaced by Another

Hello everyone,

Only recently I joined 7Cups, spoke to a few listeners, joined a few chats. But now, something has happened that rips me to the bone.

To preface, for roughly a decade, I've dealt with manic depression and anxiety attacks. Most of my episodes manifest in the form of a rapid heart rate coupled with extreme mood swings. I've tried medication and therapy, but nothing thusfar has helped in the long term.

Now, to the point.

I fear that my best friend of 7 years has, for all intents and purposes, replaced me with someone else. I understand that this sounds potentially immature or childish, I mean people are allowed to be friends with whomever they want; who am I to force such an issue?

It's just that I don't understand why this happened. And, it kills me inside. In recent months, she started talking to this friend of hers a lot more often, virtually ignoring me and taking literal days to respond to even the simplest text from me. Her responses would be short and emotionless, as if my saying "hello" was an inconvenience. Anytime she would actually respond, she'd only vent about her day, her husband, or her parents. And my retort would otherwise be ignored therein.

Moreover, I've tried to bring up the issue on two seperate occasions, politely of course. But, both times, she's insisted that nothing is going on or that I'm not being a nuisance or something. Afterwards? Ignored for another two days.

I don't understand. I don't know what to do. Thinking about it hurts triggers an episode pretty much everyday. I'm not sure how much more of this I can take...

Just this message continually plays in my head - "You've been replaced."

This friend of hers is just, better, I suppose? A better listener, more fun to be around, a more interesting conversationalist. Just better in general.

What's worse is that I really don't have anyone else. No other friends to confide in, nor am I close with my family.

I just feel horrible. Tired of all this heartache.

I'm lost in this mess of emotion, and it pisses me the fuck off.