Ocd

I had an intrusive thought yesterday and i feel horrible since then . Its wasnt like a routine , like close the frige 5 times or check on the door again . It was more like a disturbing sexual one for me . I barely get them . I did get them alot in my childhood but than i told it to my mom and it stopped . Idk why . It came now and then ,but i didnt know it was ocd . I wanna get through but im so scared . Im deeply scared . I dont know what to do with those thoughts. What if i get one in public? Or when im with my friends . Usually i get them alone . Is that a trigger? I feel like i was forced to do things as i child by myself . I didnt explore my sexuality as i should . In like a chil, exciting way . It was never exciting to me . My thoughts forced me to expiriment . Idk if that makes sence , but it totally does to me .