It's One of Those Days
I sit here at my desk contemplating where my life will take me in the next few weeks.
One of the harshest years of my life is almost over. I cannot wait for it to end, but then, I was born in December so I have to celebrate that if only to remind myself that I still mean something in this world.
Things always have a price.
That promotion I was aiming for? I got it after several months of trying. The next day, I lost my father.
Those opportunities I've always worked so hard to achieve? I got it after several years of dedication and tenacity. Now that I have it, my anxiety is off the charts and while I function to the best of my abilities (and excel in them, to be fair), I cannot find it in me to feel a sense of fulfilment and purpose.
That partner who I've always tried to manifest from the universe since 2016? I met him; it was magical, and we were the ideal match in our books. But we live in different parts of the world separated by 8,294 miles and 13hours, and his main love language is physical touch/presence so now, I don't know where we are. It turns out, presence trumps up connection.
And just when I thought things couldn't get any worse, I was laid off from work together with every single one of my teammates, less than a hundred days before the holiday season. That's not just teammates who won't have anything this Christmas season, but families that are left hanging, devastated, and with no means to support themselves in what would be considered our cold months.
I want to see the light, universe. I want to feel the warmth of the season. But tell me how. Please? :'(
@Eeyan28
I’m sorry to hear that it’s
been a rough year for you. Only one more month. But, it’s nice that the last
portion of it can serve as a celebration since it is your birthday month. Also,
I’m very sorry for your loss. Loosing a parent is one of the toughest battles. Given
that you also got laid off, I can understand why it’s been a tough year. It's
always nice to have people by our side when things are tough. Have you and your
partner made any plans to meet up again in the near future? Sending hugs. 💜
Hey @Eeyan28Hey @Eeyan28
It seems like this past year has been really tough for you. I can't imagine the pain and hurt that comes with so much loss. The frustration that might arise when it begins to appear that every good thing in your life is followed by a disaster or loss. I am truly sorry that the past year has been overshadowed by such sadness and pain.
I understand how hard it must be to try and be happy and see the light after so much pain. But you are trying and you want to see that light and feel an ounce happiness and while that might be such a small act- "just trying"-I believe it says a lot about the person you are: you are strong and you are willing to keep on fighting and I respect and admire that. And I think that might be the first step in feeling the warmth of the season so you go that down.
Other things you can do include do activities that you usually do and enjoy doing during this season. Or try news activities that go hand in hand with the season. And while you and your partner might be miles away find ways of connecting and enjoying your birthday month together.
Now there will be some tough days, on those days you can connect to a listener and talk about it. Or you can even connect now and you can discuss with them things that you can do to just make life a little bit brighter.
Anyways stay strong. You are going to be okay. Take it one day at a time and don't be too hard on yourself; rest and relax. Sending lots of hugs your way💛
