Is this separation anxiety?
I was a single parent and now my son is a college senior. My issues have being getting worse (and then better then worse) since he left home.
I tend to freak out when my son doesn’t communicate with me. He’s an adult, he has to live his own life, and I must learn to deal with it.
Those are fine words, but so difficult to actually accomplish. I just want a “good morning” or “hello” text. Maybe a touch base during the day.
When I don’t hear from him, the anxiety ramps up and causes me to not be able to function on anything else. If I do successfully “not worry” I am numb to everything else I am doing because I am suppressing emotions.
I’m not sure what I am worried about. Intellectually, I know he loves me, I know he is alive, I know he is fine. But emotionally, I need the contact.
This is one of my two biggest triggers and one, I really want to learn to control and deal with because it stops me in my tracks. The anxiety turns into depression and then all I can do is cry and sleep….which sets off my other triggers.
I need to find a solution to this.
Sparky
@Sparky45 It's difficult when our minds and emotions do not match as intellectualy like you said, you realize your son is most likely alive and well but emotionally you need that contact. While it does not seem healthy for you to numb out these feelings either, perhaps it would help to communicate with your son that you would like to know how he is doing and perhaps he could send a picture of his life to you everyday or a simple hi or hello. But I also realize you respect he is an adult and might not want to control his decisions on when he contacts you so there is not an easy solution but I hope you remember to care for yourself as well. Being a mother is admirable and I can see how these feelings all stem from a place of care and since he has gone to college, it is a new transition time for you. I do not know if this is separation anxiety or what not but I do hope you find a solution and peace as well
@luxx454
I actually had a long talk with my son, too. Fortunarly as a father, I always allowed and encouraged him to express his feelings and cry if needed. It was my turn. I explained some of what is going on and how he can help me. Just a "good morning" text when he gets moving...no more needed and I won't bug him with additional conversation unless he initiates it. He's been doing it and it seems to set my mood for first half of the day.
Thanks again for the support.
@Sparky45
hi sparky. I have this same problem with my adult daughter. We were best friends for years. She is 34, and the last year she hardly talks to me s as no even worse keeps my 7 yo grandson away. Even though my husband and I watched him for her and her husband every day of his life up until that point. I don't know what to do. This is more than I can take. I have been taking medication, but I am running out snd I don't think my dr will refill. I won't take antidepressants because I have already had suicidal thoughts and don't need that kind of help. I pray every day and cry every night. I try not to let my husband know because it makes him even madder at our daughter. I'll pray for you, please pray for me snd mine Also.
