Intrusive thoughs overwhelming worry and anxiety!
For the last year I have been going through having intrusive thoughts. Scary or violent passing thoughts but the thoughts get stuck and cause me to become panicked and riddled with anxiety and it happens over and over most days. I have been to therapy and was put on medications no anti-depressants because I cant taken them. The meds help take the edge off but I am still having the issue. It got so bad My husband cant leave me or I will panic and freak out. I feel like I need another adult around to babysit me or I might go insane. In a few days my husband has to go on a work trip and I am freaking out with worry that I cant stay home alone and take care of my kids. Has anyone gone through this and beaten it?
I asked my therapist if this is harm OCD and she says she thinks it is from my c-ptsd. I guess it doesn't matter the diagnosis as long as the treatment works but I feel like I am stuck in this cycle and cant escape. I want my freedom back and I want to be able to hang out with my kids or alone without having thoughts and fears that I will hurt others or myself. To be clear I have never attempted to hurt someone else or myself. Its more of very horrible thoughts that pop in my mind and that make me extremely uncomfortable and afraid that I am unstable or losing my mind.
Hi there :). While you may or may not have OCD, it isn’t my call or yours to say with certainty, it does sound like you’re struggling with some very disturbing and terrifying intrusive thoughts. And what if I told you that I’ve gone through and still go through the same struggle? I have been diagnosed with OCD and been through exposure therapy, which was life changing. I know the horrible, gut-wrenching feeling of the anxiety induced by intrusive thoughts - in this case, about harming others or yourself. You’re not alone, and as scary and real as it all feels, everyone going through the same thing you are has your back - me included :). While I won’t offer you reassurance as that only worsens intrusive thoughts, I will say that intrusive thoughts attack our most cherished values and morals. Do people who do intend to and take pleasure in harming others have intrusive thoughts about their plans? Of course not. Do people who are horrified by the idea and prospect of harming others or themselves sometimes have intrusive thoughts about that? Absolutely. I’ll leave it at that, and you can draw your own conclusions :). Once again, you’re not alone, and the thought of being home without your husband must definitely be an unsettling one. Feel free to message me if you’d like to chat and we can maybe talk things through if you’d like. Wishing you all the best! @ShneurZ
Thank you!
Of course!