I'm just so lost in my own Anxiety...

2 years ago or maybe earlier than that(while I was in advanced individual training for the military) I was sent home honorably. I was sent home because I gave up near the end. Its hard to admit but I did. I felt like this wasn't the path for me. So when I got home, my parents welcomed me home but had their doubts. I see now, these doubts were well placed. I only failed each promise I made to them when I came home. I never helped out and honestly lost sight of who I was.... If I ever knew. See I joined because my sister was this bad thing in my life and my mother didn't want me to be her. So in striving so hard to not be her, I lost who I was. I joined the armed forces without thinking of what I wanted. Only that I wasn't my sister. Then it happened... I got in college half a year after getting home. I saw this degree and once again did it to make her proud. Now I am only sad in myself... It wasn't what I wanted and I honestly don't know what I want. I'm struggling so hard to find who I am and what I want to do with my life that I have given myself overwhelming anxiety all while trying to maintain good gpa with almost no direction. I'm to a point that I want out of this whole and want to figure out who I am but I can't seem to figure it out. Honestly joining this made me feel like it was a step, getting help that I needed(seeing as my family aren't good people to turn to for help).