I'm just so lost in my own Anxiety...
2 years ago or maybe earlier than that(while I was in advanced individual training for the military) I was sent home honorably. I was sent home because I gave up near the end. Its hard to admit but I did. I felt like this wasn't the path for me. So when I got home, my parents welcomed me home but had their doubts. I see now, these doubts were well placed. I only failed each promise I made to them when I came home. I never helped out and honestly lost sight of who I was.... If I ever knew. See I joined because my sister was this bad thing in my life and my mother didn't want me to be her. So in striving so hard to not be her, I lost who I was. I joined the armed forces without thinking of what I wanted. Only that I wasn't my sister. Then it happened... I got in college half a year after getting home. I saw this degree and once again did it to make her proud. Now I am only sad in myself... It wasn't what I wanted and I honestly don't know what I want. I'm struggling so hard to find who I am and what I want to do with my life that I have given myself overwhelming anxiety all while trying to maintain good gpa with almost no direction. I'm to a point that I want out of this whole and want to figure out who I am but I can't seem to figure it out. Honestly joining this made me feel like it was a step, getting help that I needed(seeing as my family aren't good people to turn to for help).
@Dokeshi1 First off thanks for your service- even though you are upset that you had to leave you still served our country which is extremely honorable. I'm sorry you're having a rough time. And it sounds like lots of plans were made when you were young and didn't quite know what would happen. The good thing is that you can ALWAYS change your path. So if things aren't going the way you want then look at alternatives. I'm glad you reached out to be at 7cups and I hope gives you some support you need.
Deep breathe.
Thanks. I'm glad I got here. This place has helped me and I feel like I'm improving. Just need to work on myself a bit more before I say I'm doing tip top shape.
Hi everyone,
I have a lot of anxiety over my relationship and I am suffering in silence. On days that I am alone, I obsess about the relationship - whether it is good, bad, past, future and the thoughts provoke emotions of fear and anxiety. If i stay, I get scared of getting hurt, If I leave, I am scared of leaving a great guy. I don't know why I am feeling this way. I have been going through a lot of stress. School and work, but I've taken a leave of work now because I have been too stressed so I am trying to deal with just school. though, I am unable to concentrate. The real stressor seems to be that I am doing everything I can to better my relationship I think. I just wanted to make more money to contribute more when my bf doesn't even care if I contribute or not. but I just feel the need to put in as much as I could so that he would see that I am capable and that he would be saving more money, which I thought would mean that he would see a future with me.
now, I am stuck on my last week of school, not sure what I am going to do with it. I will return to work and my schooling is now not paid for since I asked for a sabbatical leave. I will continue with my position, though, it may be possible for advancement. I am feeling so stressed. and I also want to have a family with my partner. we both do, and we both agreed, I need to be less stressed.
I have been seeing a counsellor to help me through my thoughts, but my brain is just fixated on negative things and not thinking. I don't know what to do. I am just getting by in school. I will graduate and it is a grad program. Though, I cant say I am confident that I can handle anything in that level since I don't have experience either. I am doing a role of a Executive Assistant, but I do not have the title yet. I haven't started the calendar responsibilities.
I am suppose to do that when I get back. My condition right now is really bad - unable to concentrate and focus. Not learning. I fear that this will continue and I will not be able to do the same at work and I will freak out.
I am so scared. I don't know what to do.
please help.
The mindfulness section in path menu may help both with overall anxiety and paying more attention to what you feel instead of what others feel. It's been helping me anyway.