I'm Panicking!
So, two years ago, my partner and I decided to move back home closer to family. We were slowly looking for places until we found somewhere affordable to rent, which was taking a while. Then, my sister asked if we would be interested in renting from her, as they were moving and didn't really want anyone else in their old house. It was a good opportunity. It was family, and they'd be getting us home like they all had been asking for. So we agreed. Rent would be the same and it would help us out plus help them with the new mortgage.
Well, I have always had this cloud hanging over that one day they will get tired of paying double property tax and insurance for the old and new home and would sell and leave us homeless, but I kind of pushed it to the back of my mind. Lately though, I've seriously been stressed out and panicking, because they have been stuggling financially. When they built the new house, they did so based on the fact that they were making a whole lot of money in overtime and bonuses at that time when the bank approved them, so their thought was they could afford a big monthly mortgage plus the rent we woudl be paying...they factored all that into their monthly payment. However, soon after construction started, things went downhill and there were smaller bonuses and no overtime. Now, two years later, they are struggling because financially they don't make as much and are stuck with expensive vehicle and house and now credit debt due to things that had to be purchesed during the construction. They have children in activites, one graduating in a two years, vehicle needs, etc.
Her husband suffers from mental health issues, and although, she tries to live within their means, he likes to live above it, so they have a hard time financially. Well, in talking she mentioned how he was worried if anything ever happened to his job and his anxiety and OCD kicked in and she said she told him not to worry because if worst came to worse, they would sell the house and move back to the old house (the one we rent now). So she is telling this to me, who also suffers from anxiety/panic/OCD, and now I'm frickin' livid and can't stop thinking we need to pack and move ASAP!
I know his job itself is probably secure, but the industry isn't. My mind has me going 300 mph and has us living in the streets homeless now. I don't think she believes they would ever have to do that, but it was her just trying to calm him but now I'm so super stressed out. I of course won't tell her this, as she doesn't need two maniacs all paranoid. I hate when I stress like this, as now I can't enjoy just being in this house when I loved it. We had plans to buy it one day and take it off their hands, which was the original thought they had, but now they are also stressed financially, so I guess they are saving this house as a backup. I understand it is theirs to do what they will, but at the same time I wish they had thought this through so we could have moved somewhere else in the beginning. Now I'm so stressed over something that may or may never happen and I need someone to slap me silly and say it's going to be fine because I'm going to give myself a coronary right now!
i agree that you have reason to be worried, but before you panic you should take a moment and think this out reasonably. I am 100% for supporting family but it looks to me like this situation started in the frst place because youre relatives were taking advantage a little bit. Not wanting a stranger to live in the house, i get it. But in case some other form of tax complications would emerge youre sister must have known you would continue payng everything, out of obligation.you have to understand that you and youre sister and you now each have youre own families and must put them first. I would move if i were you and point out to youre sister that you shouldnt go in such a financial situation because of their own financial issues. they could sell the house , or rent to someone else, but right now, do no take all of these expenses as if they were youre own, specially since you are facing bankrupcy. Find somewhere affordable to live and youre sister should learn to live within her means as well.
@Ylina
Thanks for your advice. I have thought about looking for another place, which would really be hard, as the there is literally nowhere to rent around here. We are far from bankruptcy. We just fell behind for a while due to unemployment and are trying to catch up, which is why we were offered an opportunity to move here. They could have rented the place for twice what we pay, but their family lives next door on the same grounds and they weren't comfortable having just random strangers move in. I just wish they hadn't calculated our rent and their extras into a mortgage payment, as now they are stressed and have me stressed thinking "what ifs" all the time. They have very good jobs, and it's unlikely anything will happen or if it does that they can't find another, but it's just the thought that runs through my head since I'm a naturally paranoid, anxious and nervous person, so I feel really sick to my stomach about it something that may never ever happen you know? I do agree they and us need to live within our means. We are all trying, but again,I'm a worrywart and freak out about things like this and it drives me insane.
@rollingthunder
Welcome! Im Lizzy and Im currently a trained listener and intern. I hope you find what you are looking for here in 7 Cups. Please feel free to message me whenever. I will usually reply within the day and if Im online, you should expect a reply straight away! I specialise in anxiety, panic attacks and loneliness mostly but you are always free to message me for other reasons!
http://www.7cups.com/15248074
@rollingthunder
Congrats on getting the renting opportunity from your sister! It's understandable why you would be worried that one day your sister's family would get tired of paying double property tax & insurance from both houses. I'm sorry to hear that your sister's family has been struggling financially! I'm sorry that things to started to go downhill for them after construction... It sounds like a lot of has happened for them over the past 2 years.
I'm sorry to hear that your sister's husband is suffering from mental health issues and lives above his means, that must be hard for her and on everyone. After what your sister said to you about moving back into her old house / the house you currently live in -- it makes sense that you are livid and fearful that you have to pack up and move out ASAP. Especially since you also suffer from anxiety/panic/ODC -- it might make things more complicated/difficult.
Since it is something that makes you fearful -- instead of focusing on whether or not you'll be homeless -- maybe you could see what your options are if that did happen? For example, maybe you could look into other apartments/places in the area or nearby areas and see how they compare to rent and if you have any other options?
That way you'll know that if you sister DID ever have to move back into the house you're currently living in / paying rent for -- you will be prepared and can plan for what options you may have in the future if that did ever happen to all of you.
I'm sorry you're feeling stressed in the house you're living in after having loved it before hearing that from your sister =/.
I believe that if you see what your options are and plan out what you could/would do if that situation DID happen -- you will feel more prepared and less anxious.
It is going to be fine, you just have to figure out what you have to do to make it fine! :)
I wish you the best of luck with everything that is happening with the housing situation and with you in general! 
@beautifulPudding72
Thank you for your kind words
Because I am naturally a planner, I have started to think of the other options as a backup. There aren't many, but it would have to work if it ever did come to that.
I have also been looking for a higher paying job, so maybe it would help pay more rent so that she can put towards taxes or insurance, etc and it won't be such a burden. The problem there is I am the one that helps my parents a lot with appts and such, and my job is very flexible in that I can drop what Im doing to take them to appts, so it is hard to pick up an actual 8-5 that would allow me to do that. My mom has become pretty dependent on me, which I don't mind. It's the reason we moved this way, to help my parents a little more, but because of the financial stuff on all ends, I feel I need to get a better job.
Then, there is my partner who can't decide from one day to the next where he stands with his job. One day he loves it the next he hates it and wants to quit, so that worries me even more. I've managed to hold us down before, but since the move, our bills are higher due to the area and it's just too much sometimes for me to bear and things really stress me out. I like stability and when the boat starts rocking my anxiety triples and I want to just bolt near the closest exit. It really sux!
@rollingthunder
There's a mindfulness section on 7cups great for relaxation techniques and finding a calmer space in your mind so that all the racing thoughts won't feel as overwhelming. This track in particular is a good start if you happen to be panicking at the moment you have access to listen to it: https://www.7cups.com/exercises/mindfulness560/