I feel hopeless and lost

@BoyWithLuv - Hi there. I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. The loss of a parent can be a very intense thing to deal with. It sounds to me like you are still experiencing a lot of the emotions of the earlier stages of grief work, like the numbness you talk about. Although at other times you feel really scared. If you've had trouble with depression and anxiety before this too is understandable, because during difficult times those challenging things can often come up for us again. If you've dealt with anxiety before, you might know that that feeling that you are going to die can sometimes happen during a panic attack. It was wise to have it checked out so that you know that it isn't something physically causing it. Going through the grief process can sometimes take longer than what we want it to take. But it takes as long as it takes. You will however not feel like this forever.

The journaling, artwork etc that you've done, did you do that on your own or how did it work?

I wonder if you would like to have a look at the subforum for grief? You can find it here https://www.7cups.com/forum/GriefLossCommunity_61/

There is also a self-help guide on grief. If you'd like to check it out, you can find the self-help guides under My Path on the blue bar on top (if you are on the website).

I hope you will remember to be good to yourself during this difficult time. And I hope you will find the support you need.