I dunno
I've been struggling with depression, anxiety, and stress for quite a while now, and recently found out that my husband was cheating on me. He works hard all day, hard labor, so I understood that he needed to go out to some local shows to relieve stress, and I would stay home with our daughter. He met someone there and he never mentioned to her that he was married. He took her out to bars, hung out with her, kissed her, while I stayed home with our daughter, and while he knew how badly I was struggling with depression. I have always put his feelings before mine, he was emotionally abusive towards me also. He's trying to change now that he realized that he could have lost it all. I decided to give him a second chance, but sometimes, I just feel so sad that he did this to me when he has put me through so much and sometimes I feel like I need to let him know how I feel when I'm feeling these things, but he just shuts me down. I'm still hurt. It barely happened one month ago... I just don't know, if he can't listen to me when I need it, what do I do? He says he doesn't want to argue, but sometimes when I'm feeling this way, all I need to hear from him is that he's sorry, but instead his guilt makes him react as if he's angry with me and my heart is just broken.
Hello, pardon my rudness, I just have something to say despite my young age and inexperience.
If there is one thing I have leanred during my life, its that people don't change, and that they certainly do not deserve a second chance. Not once have I gained anything from giving second chances to people, I just have declared that I am available for them to use as they please and then toss me aside.
Don't let him use you as he pleases. If he does not understand the gravity of his sins, he doesn't deserve your kindness. Don't let anyone use you as some kind of a tool. You don't need him in your life, neither does your daughter. Both of you are strong enough to overcome his toxicity.
Seek help from a therapist. Don't sit around and hope for your anxiety and depression to get better, they won't. Your wounds won't heal until to seek their cure.
I spoke rudely, but please keep in mind I wish you the best.
Don't ignore your feelings please, you are just as important as he is in your relationship, if not more. Talk to him, and be clear with what you want from him, let him know you are not sacrificing yourself for him, for he does not deserve it.
Take care of yourself, and have a good day. :)
Thank you for your words. I'm really close to my sis in law and she tells me the same thing. One thing I do know is that I do need therapy. You weren't rude actually, I appreciate your honesty. I don't know why, but it's been a tough moring for me today.
Some mornings you just open your eyes not feeling like getting out of the bed, your mind gets flooded by all the problems and it somehow manages to make them seem greater than they actually are. On those mornings you just need a supportive figure and when you find yourself unable to find one, you just drown farther in negativity. I hope the rest of your day will be much better. If you wanted someone to talk to, I can lend you an ear. I'm no profesional and I'm quite young, but I'll be here if you needed me. :)
Your sis in law seems like a nice person, btw. I'm glad she's there to support you. I'm also glad to hear you are not gaurded against therapy. It can really help in your journy of healing.
Thank you, sometimes someone to talk to helps me a lot and I don't really have much people in my life for that, so I appreciate the offer :)
She really has been my rock through a lot, I always let her know how much I appreciate her. Yeah, I've known for a while now, that I am in much need of therapy, I'm looking to see what works for me right now.
@Christiland what you're feeling is a normal reaction. It sounds like you care about your husband, with trying to put his emotions before yours. I would totally feel hurt if I found out what you found out. It must be even harder to deal with while dealing with depression.
It sounds like you're working to figure it out with your husband. I hope you're able to make space for your own emotions during this time. Seek support wherever you can to help with your broken heart.
We're trying and he actually has been more understanding, but yesterday I was having a really tough day with my emotions and just needed him to hear me. We talked it out, which is also something that wouldn't have happened before. Some days are just tougher than others to get through and it has been so many years that I put everyone before me and don't take care of myself and it has just gotten to the point where I need to stop being that way when I need to take care of myself too
