I did real bad this weekend
Hello, I let my anxiety run unchecked this weekend. It was a three day weekend, and the first weekend I was getting together with my friends in over a year. I got so worried about meeting up with everyone again and wether or not we had changed so much that hanging out would feel weird. I stopped all my self care habits. I didn't sleep regular hours, and I didn't meditate or take short breaths. I allowed the tunnel vision of catastrophizing take over. Friday night I started binge eating and I didn't stop until Monday night. A full-to-bursting stomach has always been my go to. Today I feel sick and ashamed. I had lost a few pounds over the last few months through CBT and these good habits I developed. Now I feel like I have to start over building good habits again from the beginning. Everything went fine meeting with my friends Monday. We picked up like there was no time between us. Did I always get this wound-up meeting with my friends? I am afraid of not being perfect and upsetting/disappointing someone with something I say or do. I need to figure out how to not get so stressed out for next weekend, and try to keep those good habits.
Hi Meremuse, I totally understand what you're going through. It can be tough dealing with anxiety, especially now with the pandemic. I'm glad you still hung out with your friends and saw that nothing had changed and still had a great time. When anxiety is through the roof, it can be difficult to take steps for self care. Just take it moment by moment and one step at a time. It's important to know that you can have lapses in recovery, but it doesn't mean you've relapsed. You can still get back on track the very next day. Bingeing can be very hard to deal with when you've made so much progress. It seems like you are doing everything you can to keep yourself afloat. Keep up the good work. You can get through this. People love you and care for you. Make sure your compassion is just as great for yourself as it is for others! ♥️
