I am pregnant

So um today was a whole series of events so trigger warning for self harm and abuse.

my ex bf who i just recently broke up with basically tried to harm himself in front of me. I eventually got my mate to call the cops. He has been abusive towards me in the past and even last night he was aggressive.

i ended up going to the hospital because (ill give some context i have anxiety and depression) i was not going well with my mental health and having intrusive thoughts.

they take some blood and urine samples at the hospital and um well it turns out that i am pregnant. Only a month but still i have something growing inside me.

i just turned 20 years old so i am so well not prepared to have a child so yes i am probably going to terminate the pregnancy.

i have only told one friend, i am scared, i feel alone, i feel so very vulnerable. I am so dar away from home basically right across the country (Australia) and so when i get this out of the way and maybe travel with a mate for a bit i will fly home to be with my family.

i never thought it would happen to me to get pregnant. It feels no real and when the doctor told me i just burst into tears. Hopefully i can do the procedure very soon and with little to no side effects but i am so embarrassed. I had to tell my mum that my partner had been abusive and the whole situation that got me into hospital and i just feel very week.

they gave me some medication to sleep which is good but i just want to get the procedure out of the way and see my friends again.

i am scared for my ex bfs mental health and his addiction problem. It is not my fault for his addiction though and i have to keep reminding myself about that. Today was just so hard and getting told that i am pregnant on top of it all just makes things way more complex.

i am going to come stronger out of this and i do believe in myself. Right now i might just take a nap. If you read all of this please feel free to send some love as it would be appreciated greatly. Love to you all xo -c