I

@Sleepingpandacub

Your thoughts are normal, especially for someone who's been made to believe you've been a "burden" all your life. I myself have been surrounded by people who often talked about themselves and their problems, yet never gave me the time of day to do the same, and made me feel like I'm an annoyance.

That regret you feel isn't true, it's the result of feeling like you're not worth being helped, or seen, or heard. I wish I was an expert so I can give you better advice, but if I were you I'd start with acknowledging that your feelings are real. Your pain is valid. It doesn't matter if your problems seem small in comparison, they're hurting you because you're human. We're all human and we all feel pain. Don't feel bad for that.

@chibihida u don't need to be an expert what u said made me cry. Because I feel understood. I think I've been dealing with this for nearly 4 years now. It was really bad in September of last year. I wasn't myself for so long, i felt crazy cause I was the only one who saw it. During quarantine the constant anxiousness, became less. I thought I was crazy because what happened to all those feelings. Now it's creeping back, like I'm trapped in a loop of highs and lows. It's so confusing because if I do tell someone, what if I'm not nervous enough to have anything wrong with me... ik it's crazy but I feel like there is a standard way to have anxiety. And what if mine is not enough? Sorry i feel stupid.

@Sleepingpandacub

No it's fine, I understand what you're trying to say. The mood swings are normal too, unfortunately. Mine are really bad when I've been alone for so long. Yours might be a sign that you DO need someone to talk to lol.

If it helps, you're not crazy for thinking that you shouldn't "feel" this way or you're not "anxious" enough. There are people out there who make this a contest, who act like because their problems seem "bigger" that yours aren't worth the fuss. But you're not just dealing with "a couple issues", they're problems in your life that have been building up for a while and are algamating into the anxiety that you're experiencing now. And the isolating is literaly making it worse. We experience stress when we don't talk to people for a long time, it tells us at a subconcious level that something is "wrong".

Just because you can manage your nervousness better doesn't mean it's not there. Try to think about how much you've suffered, and realize that what you're feeling is a normal, understandable result of that. That's the first step of self love, and of taking the first step of reaching out to people, and knowing that you're worth helping and feeling better. :)

@chibihida thank u... I think what makes my anxiety worse is that I'm generally such a chill person who kinda gets sooo anxious when it doesn't even relates. I'll start thinking about telling someone. The issue is I'm scared of what's going to happen after. And everything I said above too. There were a few times where I nearly spoke about it. It just didn't work out. I will think about it. And really thank u.

@chibihida I have someone who I would feel comfortable telling but she's going through her own isssues with depression... but what u said I can't get out of my head. Just because I can manage it doesn't mean the feeling isn't there. I think I needed to hear that.

@chibihida sorry for talking to much... 😹

@Sleepingpandacub It's not too much i guess

@kindEars2121 yea ur probably right

lmao I think we all talk too much here XD

well you always have the listeners to help you through this. and all these threads and forums you can try talking with people on. Sometimes we can't talk to our friends and family irl but you can always try talking on here :)

@chibihida yea it's easier for some reason.