@Alctim
Hey there, I can feel that you are totally fed up by your post, and I dont blame you at all, its really hard when your in a cycle of negative vibes, they just kinda grab you, and make you believe you cant do anything. Truth is, you can, Im not saying its easy by any means, but it is possible to change your daily routine, to channel your thoughts though a different angle,you just need to get into the habit of re training your brain, and the first step Is telling yourself you can, believe you can, and you can do it. I have a couple of suggestions which you might like to try, can you change your morning routine? Like, instead of getting up and making a cuppa, get up and shower, and have music on in the background, feel good music, an up tempo? One of the things I used to do at night was, Id write myself a message, something good, a nice memory or something that made me feel positive, and when I woke in the morning, Id read it! Another, write something nice about yourself in the morning, I like my hair, or, I like my eyes, smile, feet, anything! And say it over again to yourself in the mirror. Anxiety is something we manage, its not something we cure, anxiety are fears within us, they arent a direct threat, and once we learn how to manage this, life becomes a whole lot eaiser, so start with yourself, tell yourself how incredible you are, just for being you and fighting🙂 the big achievements come from the smaller challengers, just trust and believe in yourself and youll do what you need to do. And remember, the community here is backing you 🙂 take care of yourself.
