How to Trust People Again?
I've posted in here before about being in a bad relationship before, my next step is learning how to trust people again. I feel like there's a wall when it comes to opening up in a healthy way/trusting people again but at the same time I want this, kind of intensity I had with my previous relationships, like having a person you can talk to about anything, knows you inside out and doesn't mind any of it etc. I start relationships with people and seem to have an unconscious block when it comes to continuing them, probably because of being scared it'll end up ending badly again. Any advice on how to overcome this?
@PluckyLuck248
Hi!
The very first thing I think of when I hear about trust is Brene Brown's marble jar. It's a metaphor that she's used to show that people build up trust slowly.
When we have intense relationships and can talk to people about anything - we don't do that from the start. We build it up. We learn to trust them with small things (like little marbles) so that we feel confident knowing that they can handle the bigger things (bigger marbles). Perhaps this could be something that you're open to? Rather than thinking about the bigger vulnerable stuff, just think about the little ones and whether that's a relationship you feel safe and want to be in.
Here's a video - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6442YcvEUH8
@romanticthi3f Yeah, that's kind of what I was touching on when I mentioned "healthy ways of opening up", one of my issues for a long time was "EVERY MARBLE IN THE JAR AT ONCE!" which thankfully has been cut down to "one too many" sometimes. I know it takes time but I miss having that kind of relationship so much, and desperately want a healthier version of it as well, that it's like a tug of war between complete info dump on someone or just to give up on trying, or just putting in no effort for a relationship at all.