Grateful but feeling lonely with negative thoughts

I've been dealing with some problems since January with my family, friends and boyfriend. For a moment I lost trust in all of them and I was summerged in a depression. My boyfriend has changed for good as a boyfriend and as a person, and has been a huge support for me being patient and considered. But now I already finish college and I'm searching for job so I have a lot of free time and that make my anxiety return, and sometimes I remember bad stuffs about the past and I've been mean with my boyfriend or friends because od anxiety attacks and negative thoughts. Lately I've been feeling so lonely and lost and i just want some confidence back.