Feeling safe

Hello, sorry to hear about what you are going through. That sounds very, very rough. You aren't alone, I think most people have made a few bad associations like that over their life. I remember not wanting to wash a jacket that I was wearing when something bad happened once. But it'll be okay. It's hard to go through this but you can do it. Don't be afraid to seek help from a therapist. They can help. Cognitive behavior therapy would probably fix you right up. I'll share some thoughts and in the hopes that is helpful to you. I think of anxiety as special thing my body does too help me maintain vigilance over a situation, that for whatever reason I am uncomfortable with. It helps keep me keep focused on the topic and not get distracted, it helps keep me awake sometimes and it lets me know that I don't like being in the situation by the negative feelings I experience. But that's it. That's what anxiety is. It is the body helping you address this situation you feel concerned about. It's natural and not a bad thing in and of itself. It's just a "problem solving" mode you have. You can imagine how it would be helpful to have anxiety about something like "what am I going to eat for food this winter" or "what animal was in my cave dwelling". What seems to be a reasonable solution to anxiety is to stop and address the thing you are anxious about, like "I'll migrate to a place with more food during winter" or "oh they were just rabbit tracks". So if yours is something like "I'm scared of locations that I associate with bad memories" (I am sorry if I am way off in my description of your situation), maybe start with trying to adjust the judgement that the situation was "bad". Maybe just say that it happened, that's all, it is not bad and you are going to use it as a new opportunity. It is just a memory, or just a thought. We think and remember our whole lives, it's okay to think and remember these things. Just remove the judgment that they were bad. Then next maybe make the plan to try and explain why you feel particular about those places in a more realistical way like "I feel this way about this place because I have been telling myself and imagining and visualizing this false narrative, which is stiring up emotions. I know if I go to one of these places it is the thoughts that frighten me and nothing about the actual place is dangerous. If I go there and change my thoughts, I (eventually) won't be scared." Strive for a healthy, positive, realistic perspective on things. If you are in a place that scares you, think of how wonderful you will feel after you no longer are scared of any of these spaces - imagine yourself having already conquered your feeling and how you imagine you'd feel. Remember to consider alternate explanations for why you feel the way you do. Don't get locked in some narrative you invented for yourself. Remember that thinking something doesn't make it true. If that were the case we'd all be rich. I hope this is helpful to you and that you get through this struggle quickly. You can get back to normal. Best of luck and wishing you relief.