Constantly being body shamed
It's weird. I know I am average-sized, but due to a past eating disorder and body dysmorphia, the way I feel about my physical appearance constantly changes. I have been slowly accepting myself. I briefly mentioned to my father I haven't been eating much- not because I was doing it on purpose, just I had little loss of appetite, and also having to meal prep for the week is difficult. I told him I didn't eat breakfast today and only ate icecream for lunch - as a retired doctor, I'd expect him to say something along the lines of "that's not healthy" or "you need to eat". But he said a very out-of-pocket remark. He said it was better than eating a lot b/c I wouldn't die since I have fat reserves. It was as if I was talking to a different person. My father knows I have struggled with bulimia, he had been relatively safe with his words and I think since he sees my newfound confidence, I can suddenly take everything he says about me. My mother is the same way. The other day she made a fat joke and today, I tried on a dress for a party and she praised me on how good it looked but also added a distasteful remark. I complained a little about maybe looking a little chubby from the side. And she added that if I "didn't eat for a week then I could probs lose the chubbiness". and when I called her out, she said "no, no you look beautiful. Those were your words not mine, I never said you were chubby". Yet, she still encouraged me not to eat for a week so I don't know the difference. See, if a stranger said a fat joke, it would hurt a bit but it wouldn't sting as much as the people who live with me and know about my struggles making the jokes.
@randomp3rson not to mention, I have REPEATEDLY talked about how these comments are not helpful. and constantly, they continue to make the same jokes and comments. It's ruining my relationship with them in a way because the more they do it, the more I trust them less and talk to them less about my issues.
@randomp3rson ALSO, it is kind of ironic because my mom even told my dad his comment was not right and he shouldn't say things like that. Yet went on to tell me not to eat for a week literally an hour after. It's funny.
❤️ Hello, amazing being ❤️
❤️ I understand: you struggled a lot to accept yourself after your past eating disorder and body dysmorphia, and the fact that your parents have been making really hurtful comments is even more painful because of that. You need their support, not those harsh remarks! I can only imagine how damaging those words and "jokes" must have been. Also, feeling confused is natural: it's your family, no wonder those jokes and comments hurt! Your feelings are valid and important ❤️
❤️ I get it, you told them to stop and they continue, which really messes the bond up. If I were you, I'd feel the same way: you need and deserve support from them, and they aren't giving you that. And your mom called your dad out only to proceed to do the same thing!? That sounds upsetting, to say the *very* least! I want you to know that you and your boundaries deserve respect (and that you have my support) ❤️
❤️ Also, as a reminder, you have no chubbiness to lose. Please, get and eat the food you need, awesome person. Regardless of your weight, you are beautiful in every single way: you are stunning, gorgeous, flabbergasting and astonishing, and deserve to feel proud ❤️
❤️ I'm here for you, beautiful being. Have a day as wonderful as you ❤️
Hello lovely!
I wanted to start by congratulating you on your recovery from bulimia. Its a terrible disease and while I hear you saying that your eating disorder voice still finds ways to speak up, this isn't a reflection of the strength of your recovery at all. I'm SO proud of you❤️
Hearing your parents, who should be your staunchest supporters and most trusted confidantes, talk so insensitively is a valid thing to feel uncomfortable with and even triggered by. I applaud your efforts to speak up, protect your own recovery, and set or reinforce boundaries surrounding food and body talk with them. It's absolutely backward and upside down for your mother to chastise your father and then do exactly the same thing, if not worse. One of the hardest things about boundaries (and ESPECIALLY with family) is enforcing them. It sounds like you're being very direct about your needs and why you have those needs. It may help to come up with some strategies- and them communicate them- for what happens if they don't respect your boundaries.
Remember that you rock and you deserve to take it space. ❤️❤️
