COVID and Anxiety
It has been about 6 years since I had the level of anxiety I am currently experiencing. My husband and I went on our first trip together in over a year at the beginning of August. We both had colds. I had tested negative for COVID and our PCP determined my husband had bronchitis. We visited many friends and family members in order to catch up on lost visits due to the pandemic. Everyone we visited had been vaccinated. A few days after leaving the first household they got cold symptoms and tested positive. After that at least one person in each household got COVID. I couldn’t wait to get back home. Instead of being the wonderful trip I imagined it was a nightmare. We stayed in a hotel the last night and I had a full blown panic attack during the night.
We went to get tested first thing in the AM the day after we got home. I tested negative and my husband tested positive. We set up separate bedrooms and quarantined 14 days per our PCP. I really worried about my husband because his coughing was so bad. He did get the antibody infusion the same day we got tested. A co-worker’s husband died from COVID while we were on vacation so that was a trigger for me. I tend to worry BIG time about health concerns. I had terrible anxiety during our whole quarantine.
Several of the relatives were really mad about getting sick and acted like we planned to make them sick. One relative even demanded the name of our PCP so she could
call him to complain that he did not have my husband tested. The funny thing is this relative never got sick but she was really mad about other family members getting exposed.
The anxiety is still here, though much less, and makes me have no appetite and mornings are horrible. It is really difficult to get up and get going. I thought the anxiety would completely go away once we were better. Has anyone else had this experience?
I was working a full-time job and a per diem RN job, plus doing lots of other things. I have since quit the per diem job because every time I thought about going back it would make me panic. I wonder if getting COVID was just the last straw of me doing too much? Even though I tested negative I lost my sense of taste and smell so my doctor said I most likely had it.
I just want to get back to feeling more like me. I have GAD that is usually pretty well controlled. My doctor increased my Zoloft two weeks ago and I do think it is helping. I am also doing meditation, trying to take walks, using a tapping app, and seeing a therapist.
I would love to hear your thoughts or similar experiences.
Thanks
The past year and a half has been really hard, stressful, and traumatizing for people that work in healthcare. I work in healthcare also.
Would you like to talk about some of your fears that are underlying your anxiety?
My husband is away this weekend and I really miss him. He texted me to say goodnight last night and I wrote back that I missed him and then I burst into tears. I realized just how scared I was that he could die from COVID. Do I have some kind of PTSD from this pandemic and how close it got to my family? Up until last night I have not even been able to cry so that felt like a big relief.
I just haven’t been myself since we came back from our trip. I want to be but I can’t seem to get there and it is really frustrating to me and to my husband. He gets really irritated when I don’t have energy to do things or when I want to stay in bed in the morning. It is horrible feeling this way.
It sounds to me like you do have some covid19-related ptsd. We've been through a lot and have seen a lot, seen a lot more than the public has. You're not alone, there are a lot of other healthcare workers struggling with ptsd as well as burnout. I'm in a Facebook group for healthcare workers impacted by covid19, it's pretty small compared to other groups but the impact covid19 has had on our mental health is very real. Some therapists have more experience working with healthcare workers than others. I'll include some support resources for you. Help is available. I'm here for you too if you want to continue talking on here, as well as in the Facebook peer support group if you choose to join that one.
The Facebook group I was talking about
https://www.facebook.com/groups/healthcareworkerpeersupport/?ref=share
Frontline Therapy Network (6 free sessions with a vetted mental health provider you'll be matched with)
https://www.thebattlewithin.org/frontline-therapy-network
Emotional PPE Therapy Services provided free of charge to frontline healthcare workers impacted by covid19.
https://directory.emotionalppe.org/healthcare-workers-landing
You've had to be strong for an entire year and a half, I'm glad you were finally able to cry. You've been here for others during this pandemic as an RN, taking care of patients despite the risk. I hope now you take some time to let people help care for you and support you <3 You deserve it. Hopefully with support things will improve between you and your husband too and that you'll start to feel the way you want to feel again
Thank you so much! The strange thing is that I am a mental
health nurse. I have been scared going to work because the patients are free to walk around and don’t have to wear masks. We also have had some really acute cases recently that have gotten to me. Now that I am having my own anxiety it doesn’t feel right to work there taking care of others. I know I am only human but always feel like I should be able to get past the anxiety because I have tools to help me cope. Just goes to show we are all susceptible to stress.
We both have a little bit in common then, I was planning on going to school to become a licensed psychologist (was enrolled bur it didn't work out for me to finish the Bachelor's of Psychology program) and now I'm pursuing a career in nursing. I start a CNA program this month and will go from there. Becoming a mental health nurse is something I've considered, combining my passion for helping people with their mental health and nursing (another passion of mine)
I currently work in a kitchen in a hospital delivering trays to patients.
You're anxiety is 100% understandable, we're in the middle of a pandemic. Even I've felt anxious around people not masked up during this pandemic, I never left home except to go to work at the beginning of the pandemic because nobody was masked up.
Both you and I are human. I've even experienced ptsd from covid19. A trauma therapist tried getting me to recall memories from my time working in a nursing home (before I started working at a hospital) and my entire body tensed up and the memories and emotions came flooding back; the fear for my health and safety (because I was working in a covid19 environment), the fear of witnessing death, the fear and anxiety of catching it and spreading it to family, the fear of catching it and ending up needing to be one of the ones that got intubated (I have asthma).
As far as the anxiety you're experiencing, yeah you have tools to cope, but you still need other people too.
Try looking at the anxiety you're experiencing not as a bad thing, but as something that can help make you an even more effective nurse for your patients. You know what it's like to go through what they're going through and that understanding makes you better equipped to help them.
FYI: Psychologists and Social Workers don't stop seeing clients just because they're struggling with mental health or relationship challenges, they work with a therapist themselves so they can continue providing support to others. You're no different in my opinion, you struggling with mental health doesn't automatically mean you need to stop helping provide care for others. It does however mean you need a little bit extra support right now, and that's okay :)
@creativeSail3749
I like to make a Pro vs. Con list sometimes when I am trying to make a decision and when I made one about continuing to work at the hospital the only thing I had on the Pro side was that it is extra $. I decided that was not a good enough reason to keep the job. I was getting flooded with e-mails on changes being made to how we do things on the unit and I felt like I just couldn't keep up. Especially now that I am feeling so very fragile. I am trying to take one day at a time.
Yesterday was a pretty good day. I was able to get up early and go to my full-time job and then go to my daughter's to celebrate my grandson's first birthday. I did take a nap in the afternoon and it was the first time in a while that I was actually able to fall to sleep. I love taking naps but lately I just close my eyes and still hear everything around me.
Today I am feeling sort of spacey and anxious. I woke with a start very early this morning and haven't been able to shake the adrenaline feeling since.
My therapist reminded me a while back that I see trauma all the time in my work at the hospital and I never really thought of it that way. But over the last 6 months it seems like the people we have admitted have been really sick and it was starting to get to me. I have not seen COVID death but have been worried sick about catching it and bringing to home.
I guess it is all just a mix of things that have manifested into this wave of anxiety that I am currently experiencing. It stinks.
Thanks for your support.
So far, covid has made my anxiety much worse, specifically my social anxiety. I have tried to find new ways to get myself used to be around so many people, especially after having covid and being around so many people that choose to not wear a mask. Of course, to each their own but also the thought of being that sick again makes me anxious.
I do not typically express this worry of mine to others but I feel safe on 7cups to open up more. Thank you all and know that you are not alone, no matter what!
Thinking about yourself and what's right for you, do you think now is the right time to work on overcoming social anxiety?
What are ways you can protect yourself from getting covid19 again?
What are your boundaries surrounding mask wearing and vaccination for those you choose to closely interact with?
These are just some things for you to think about and to answer for yourself.
I would venture to guess that a lot of people are having social anxiety right now. We have been told to social distance and then numbers went down and it seemed like we were heading back to “normal.” Then the Delta Variant arrived and changed things back to scary. I know several people who get really anxious being around crowds now. I felt that way after being sick in August but it is subsiding now.
I think we each have to figure out what works best for us in terms of being around others right now. I wear a mask. I keep hand sanitizer in my purse. I have sanitizing wipes in my car. If this is what helps me feel better going out than so be it.
Keep writing here. The support helps:)
