Anxiety with thinking extreme opposite things

I feel tired of feeling worthless and overthinking. I thought my anxiety attacks have reduced and i am doing better. But it is just the same. I am lost in thoughts almost all day long. I don't know if its only because i am jobless and out of money or is it my nature now. I want to be happy but i only think thoughts how i can be more sad. I want to live healthy but i can only think of diseases that will make me suffer and die. I am always scared of what other people will say about me but i always act like i dont care. I continuously think about other people and how they Hurt me. I want to forgive people but i Just keep hating them more. I dont know what to do. I keep analysing myself and then get tired of it. And do it again. Its a cycle that feels neverending now.