Anxiety runs my life...
Hi, I'm new on here. I have struggled with anxiety and depression since I was 16. I've been in and out of therapy since then including two stays in residential treatment centers. I've always had horrible anxiety over talking about feelings and emotions and certain parts of my past. I avoid uncomfortable feelings like the plague! I've developed super unhealthy coping skills over the years, I drink a lot and I cut. Though I know they're unhealthy habbits they've kinda worked for me until the last four years or so. I was in a car accident in November 2013 and suffered a TBI, after that I've just kind of unraveled to the point where I'm at now. I like to tell myself I managed life before that but if I'm being honest I think I was still kind of a shit show. I have a boyfriend of almost 13 years and we have two kids. About a year ago he gave me an ultimatum and told me I needed to get professional help. I started seeing a therapist but I'm still not able to really talk about things. I've made some progress but not enough. And being in therapy has dug up a lot of shit, and I don't talk about it so it just sits in my head and I think about it all the time. When I'm with my therapist or my boyfriend and things come up the words I should say pop into my head but I feel like it's physically impossible to make them come out of my mouth. I can't even write them down or say them when I'm alone. I obsess over these thoughts and end up using one of my unealthy coping skills and go to bed. I don't know how to overcome this but I'm in a really bad place and I know I need to start talking. I thought maybe it would be easier in a place like this where I don't have to talk with anyone face to face or know anyone in real life. I don't know. But I need help.
@anonyCar9078
Hi there, I am so sorry to hear you have been going through such a hard time. You're definitely not alone, though. Therapy can be really hard at first, and even the smallest steps are milestones. It definitely takes time, and that is normal. Coming to 7 Cups was a great idea, though. Maybe talking to a listener would help you feel more open to talking about certain things, and possibly allow you to feel more comfortable talking to a therapist face-to-face. 7 Cups also offers online therapy if that is something you would consider. There is tons of support here, so I hope you know that you are in good hands :) The forums & group chats are also always open if you want to talk to a group of super supportive people. I hope this helps, and I wish you all the best :) Please take care! 
@anonyCar9078
Hello and Welcome!
wow, when I read your post, all I thought was, 'This person is so brave.'. It takes alot of energy to talk about unresolved matters, it can be daunting to vent to a stranger, who doesn't live and walk in your shoes either. I agree with Maddie, perhaps trying out a number of listeners on 7cups could be a start, we even have group support chats, another thing some people use are calm apps and journaling apps, so slowly over time you can look back at your own progress.
I really do wish you all the best.
