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Anxiety at Dances

cthoney13 January 13th, 2020

I went to our schools formal yesterday. I hadnt planned on going, because I hate big crowds and lots of noise, and whats the point of paying $80 to be uncomfortable and listen to music I dont even like?? My video production teacher asked me to go film it, though, and I didnt want to say no, so I agreed. My best friend went with me, and while it was reassuring to have them there, the whole thing made me feel awful. Even before a lot of people arrived I could tell it was going to be rough. Then everyone was there, and there were so many of them, and it was so loud. The music hurt my ears and the lights were flashing and making me nauseous and I couldnt hear people without yelling, I had to fight back tears the entire time. I felt so stupid, because everyone there was having fun and dancing, and I was just thinking about how I couldnt wait to leave. After spending all that time fighting off a panic attack, there was so much tension in me and I didnt know how to let it out. I cried a little with my friend, but then I went home and tried to sleep and I kept waking up feeling too hot, and I couldnt breathe right and I felt like I had to scratch the walls or the bed just to ground myself and the whole experience was so exhausting. Its just frustrating that I cant even go to a dance without turning into a mess and needing a whole day to recover from it.

1
luxx454 January 15th, 2020

@cthoney13 It does sound frustrating to hold in panic attack and be exhausted while being surrounded by a dance party of people having fun. And that's okay, some people find it exhausting and I myself don't enjoy big crowds of people either and there's nothing wrong with that. But if you don't likes these experiences, then next time maybe you don't need to put yourself in it. It's okay to say no to video recording even if its awkward or unpleasant.