Skip to main content Skip to bottom nav
  1. Forum
  2. Anxiety Support
  3. A marriage and a mess

A marriage and a mess
enthusiasticTangerine147 April 22nd, 2020
.

I am visiting a country in Africa because I met a woman online. I came here in late February and we got married in Mid-March. She is 25 years younger than me. We were stuck in lockdown for three beweeks which was lifted on Monday. I have been spending 24/7 with her and have found out that our personalities clash. Several times I've wanted to leave, but not felt up to it because feeling overwhelmed with dealing with her. I was afraid a few times I would hurt myself and called someone and talk to them. I also used listeners here.

On Monday I finally made the reservations and will be leaving on Thursday to stay in a hotel the rest of the time I am here. I know there will be a conflict between us when I tell her that I am leaving. I feel that I've had to do all this under the radar to have the confidence to leave. My flight doesn't depart until May 5 because the boarders are still closed in the country. I can't wait to leave, but the conflict that will occur when I tell her will not be easy.

I just feel like I"m trapped in this bad situation and have no one to help.

David

1
SecretlyMe April 22nd, 2020
.

@enthusiasticTangerine147 Hello David. I'm sorry that you are dealing with this. It must be extra difficult to have to make separations in an unfamiliar country in the middle of the pandemic. But I want to let you know that you aren't completely alone. I think it's great that you have been connecting with listeners and I more than willing to chat with you here.

Other big thing that I want you to know: I think you are doing the right thing. I don't think we're meant to see someone 24/7 so early in a relationship. We truly need time apart for the heart to grow fonder. If you are having problems and your personalities are clashing, then leaving is for the best. It's better for you both that you know now rather than later. It might be difficult and she might not respond well but ultimately, you are doing what's best for you both in the long term.

Good Luck David! Reach out if you would like to keep chatting.

*Support Forum Disclaimer
My communities
Community guidelines
Report an issue
Considering Therapy?
Talk to an expert therapist