Sudden anxiety + panic attacks

When I was a kid I was very anxious, having heavy abandonment issues and a strong fear of death and losing my parents.

Once I got older the feeling got away but for the past months (especially this week) I have been feeling so anxious I have panic attacks at night and cry before going to bed. I'm 18 now and haven't had this since I was 8. Nothing bad has happened to me - exactly the opposite actually. I finally have a good relationship with my mum, started uni with a major I'm interested in, have found friends I feel comfy around with and gained a lot of confidence. I feel my life is peaking.

Still I can't help but to irrationally fear loosing my parents, I don't know why but knowing one day they won't be there anymore makes me so sad my whole body hurts and I can't stop shaking. I came to the realization death isn't inevitable for real now - I feel wh3n you're younger you don't really REALIZE that yk?

My mum is sick and she says she often fears death and dying in general (she has severe anxiety and has been kinda putting this on me for the last 3 years) and I am so scared that sh3 will be scared once she dies. I also want her to get better and knowing she isn't feeling good mak3s m3 incredibly anxious.

No matter what I do, those anxious thoughts especially since three days seem to haunt me. My dad cam3 over today and I started crying th3 moment he was out the door. Why can't I just enjoy the moment and already worry about the future?

It stresses me out and I feel like I'm at the edge of breaking down every second. Is this normal? Is it normal to feel this anxious though nothing is really wrong around you? And how can I stop this?

This feeling comes often at night and not even doing my favourite things help me.

I just wanna enjoy life as it is right now without the haunting fear of it all ending. For God's sake, I'm 18, I should be enjoying all of this right? 😭