Catch22 anxiety
Growing up in abusive household, my whole life I dreamt of the day that I’ll get out of it and be safe and live my life.
Now that I’m out of there, I’m traumatized and completely messed up. I’m feeling pain more than ever, and the worst part is that, it doesn’t make sense to people around me, because “why are you reacting that way it’s in the past”
it’s like if your cut yourself deep while you’re numb you don’t feel anything, the pain comes long after the blood is shed
but I feel alone..
I feel like I was punished as a child,
And now I’m being punished for that punishment (by having to go through the pain)
While have I had an easier childhood I wouldn’t have had to go through this trauma and would have probably been able to enjoy life like “normal” people do
@HopefulLife2016 Sometimes parents create a toxic relationship with their kids. They try to cover their own needs, creating an unhealthy relationship with their kids. The worst part is when these kids grow up and they subconciously search for similar environment. Parents create a relationship of dependency when they are abusive. It takes a long time and effort to get out of that loop. The fact that it is in the past doesn't mean it doesn't hurt. People who care about you will definitely see that and realize how traumatic this was for you. You'll find these people in your life. Until then focus on yourself. Know that you are important and you deserve to be loved. As you will be. We are all here for you!