Really bad anxiety at night
So currently, my papa is on a trip to Japan, and won’t be back for a few more days. At first, I was relatively fine, until it came to the evening.
For some reason, for the past two evenings, I’ve been stressed out, and sometimes even on the brink of an anxiety attack. I think this might be caused due to my fear of throwing up, because it’s only me and my cat at home, and if something were to happen, no one could help me. This is scaring me so much to the point where I don’t eat as much anymore at times, and I dread the night, when before, it used to be my favourite part of the day.
Im seeing my therapist on Tuesday, but I tried to move her to Friday since I wanted to do a face-to-face but couldn’t on Tuesday. However, she isn’t free on Friday, so we’re doing a zoom on Tuesday. I’m worried this means that something bad will happen on Monday or Tuesday.
I guess I’m asking for some help and reassurance? I don’t really know how to calm myself down for the next few days, and I’m getting really scared. I was looking forward to staying up at night playing games, but now I don’t know if I can do that anymore, due to how stressed I get at night.
I delay with the same exact thing just a few weeks ago when my dad was out of town for a week. I ended up going to my moms which I never do just for some reassurance that someone would be there, so I completely understand that feeling. Unfortunately I know that not everyone can just go and stay with someone else.
For me, it helps to be in contact with someone who knows that I am alone, so if something no we’re to happen, at least you know they know your situation. I try to embrace the quietness and use it as a way to meditate and allow myself to do things I wouldn’t do with other people at home, like taking a long bath or playing really loud music.
I know it’s not easy being alone. Nights are always hardest for me too. But finding a way to distract yourself and embrace the “aloneness” can potentially end up helping you.
You've got this and I’m so proud of you for reaching out and voicing your worries.