Loser with social anxiety

I (20 y/o F) don't think I've ever had real friends that weren't just acquaintances which undoubtedly caused my lack of social skills. I really dont know how to have friends. I don't even have acquaintances now bc I barely leave the house. It's just become so hard to be around people because I beat myself up when I don't have something to say, or I make too much eye contact or not enough eye contact. It's so embarrassing when u put yourself out there and u try and it doesn't work out. honestly I feel that it makes my anxiety worse and causes alot of self hate. I dont want it to seem like I'm afraid of people but I just hate the way I feel when I'm around them which sucks bc I know that there are so many good ppl out there that I'm missing out on. Anyway I've been drinking alot to cope with the loneliness but I'm just tired of it all.