Anxiety and making friends
Hello!
i am new here, this is my first post, so if I’ve done something wrong please let me know.
I recently moved to a new city and am having difficulties making friends. I don’t know anyone here and all of my friends and family live far away so I feel lonely sometimes.
I have been trying to push myself to go outside and get to different events to for e myself out of the house, but I always get too nervous to talk to people or when I do, it never leads anywhere.
I’m just wondering if anyone else has trouble making friends as an adult. What are some things that help you to keep in mind? How to find comfort in being alone without feeling lonely?
Thank you all ❤️
@randombees212 Hi, I don't think there is anything wrong with that, going out alone. I suggest doing things that interest you and looking into possibly a group activity if you want to meet people.
@reliableWest8997 thank you for the reply! I have volunteered and joined a gym, but either people are not around my age or they just aren’t interested. I think I just need to keep trying and stay consistent but it is easy to get down about it. My anxiety makes it hard to go out but I have been forcing myself here and there. I just want friends near me hat will come shopping with me or out to a movie or come over to play games. It is hard to be away from friends and family 😔
@randombees212 hi random, I was just going to suggest that the gym is kind of hit and miss, I did not answer in more detail as I am being a bit lazy today. I think it might help if you look for activities that are specifically social, to meet people and for other outdoor or indoor events, possibly on the weekends. At the gym people usually just go to work out, and in my case it did not work for me in the past. I stopped going to gym a long time ago as I personally prefer being outside. Anyway, as I said, I wish you the best, I am sure you will find something to do, and also please be careful with strangers at first
@reliableWest8997 thank you, yes I didn’t expect to make friends at the gym but I have spoken to a few people. It’s more of a studio so they have classes at different times so I have seen a few familiar faces from there. Do you know of any specific social events? I know there are some places that do trivia or other events but usually you go with friends so I’m not sure if I would feel comfortable going alone.
@randombees212 @randombees212 hi, I don't know where you live, the reason is it also depends on the culture of the country you live in but I am not asking you to divulge that information. Here where I live, I have a hard time with the social life also but it's because I am not doing the events as much as I used to which I found by doing some online research. In your reply you already mention having friends though so are you looking to meet friends only or someone you might want to go out with alone?
@randombees212 oh sorry never mind I misread your prior message, please ignore.
also p.s. sorry, yes, the more you do it, the better it is and possibly the more comfortable, but try going to a group activity of your interest where you can meet other people. good luck
Hi there. I totally feel the same way! As I get older, I'm becoming a recluse. I don't feel confident about speaking to people anymore. My friends have moved to the states. I live in Guam. I think I'm way too picky.
It sounds like you're making good effort. Kudos for joining a gym and other activities! I think it'll happen in time. You seem well spoken and active.
You got this!
@randombees212 I know dear things are hard for you.But I am hopeful that you will make really good friends.As you meet the right ones whom you are comfortable with all your anxiety and fear will be gone.
@randombees212 Hi,
I understand your feeling. I've been moving from one city and another, always take time to make new friends. My recommendation is pick a sports you like and join a local club. It's easier to make friends with similiar hobby. Chat online with you old friends, doing exercise, having a pet are all good ways to kill time before you make new friends
@randombees212
Hello,
Hope you are having a nice day.
Well, I read your situation and it is pretty common. Anyone can face this problem. Moving to new place and changing everything completely is a big thing. It takes time to get comfortable according to the environment. So, to be honest if I was at your place, I would have at your place, I would go to walk in park in the evening/ morning, join some society program which generally nearby people organize all together, join GYM that will definitely make more interaction with people, do some part-time job again more chances to get interactions. Travelling sometimes lead to new friends. Like clicking pictures together. Spending time together doing party and enjoying events.
I hope something can help from this although I am not expert but least I can do is provide with my support and experience.
Thank you. :)
Hi I found something that could help you, these articles would be very helpful, this helped me too.
"How can I deal with anxiety?"
https://www.jw.org/en/bible-teachings/teenagers/ask/deal-with-anxiety/
"What if I'm lonely?"
https://www.jw.org/en/bible-teachings/teenagers/ask/overcome-loneliness/
"Should I expand my circle of friends?"
https://www.jw.org/en/bible-teachings/teenagers/ask/should-i-expand-circle-of-friends/
"What if I don't fit in?"
https://www.jw.org/en/bible-teachings/teenagers/ask/i-dont-fit-in/
Hi, I just want to point out that I am not discouraging anyone from going to the gym I was just trying to help and I was a bit lazy in my response as I was tired when I responded last weekend! Sorry if I may have sounded rude in any way, it was not my intention. Of course anyone can do what they want, and you don't have to take my advice. I know what it's like to live far from friends and family so I just thought I would point out what did and did not work for me before.
Anyway thanks.
