Bad at what i do
I've been working as an apprentice at a farm for a year now, i often get yelled at because i make mistakes or because i can't listen or remember anything they tell me, i don't make any progress in my learning (even my boss said it to me)
i started thinking that i maybe have ADHD or ADD.
i can't leave my job because i need the money and i would like to finish my apprenticeship or else i would've spent a year for nothing. I think that all of that made me depressed and i have suicidal thoughts sometimes because i sometime think that i'm useless anyway and that anyone can do better than me.
I don't want to get any professional help because i'd have to tell my mom about everything and i don't think she would take me seriously, i also don't want to worry her to much
I feel like i'm stuck
@max58 farm stuff is difficult depending on what your doing (my auntie owns a farm) i feel useless i feel like people would be better off without me i have been told this many times by friends, family and enimies and random people im barely around. i dont tell me mum because i was picked on in year 7 and 8 and she worried abt me a lot so ive told her its a lot better but I'd say it's a bit worse. ive been through *** and such awkward and frusterating situations that im barlely proccessing myslef let alone no 0ne in my life actualy knows even half of this bs, the person you know the most thats not me is a listener im a confusing case i might need therapy but its expensive.
@max58
People have different ways of learning....and OR retaining information...
some can follow verbal or written instructions well .........and others really need visual or hands on learning and some need repetitive use of knowledge for it to sink in.
If you really are NOT really interested in the work........ it is easy for you to forget this or that of items you may have even done several times ........simply because we do not absorb items we do not want to or feel is important to absorb.
I think sometimes people would like a explanation/ or a diagnosis of some sort to explain the reason they are not getting it. Most people in places i have worked ......they ask me can you talk to a person and perhaps reach them by rephrasing the concept so they grasp and retain. My explanations were often not always conventional and people remembered them.
I would agree if you signed up for a year internship to finish .....
You can try to be really honest about your learning style and how you can absorb knowledge better........ This will be so helpful for everything you do in life........ people have given me written instructions and i am not getting it ............i tend to take notes in my own words and it makes sense to me....
@toughTiget6481
I wish i could talk to my boss about it, but he just has no patience or time to teach me stuff
@max58
The boss is busy assumes like maybe others he has dealt with or how he learned ........ you should be able to just catch on but some do not absorb the same.
Talking to them does not have to be some formal take time event ....... in simple conversation letting them know what type of learner you are .........This does not change their style ... it is you that will need to find ways to adapt to how is is trying to teach....
i have done casual asking about their learning style etc ....... with people trying to show me the ropes, some are receptive....... others were NOT ......... i found a work around with the last NOT person and did a bit different then the person and when they saw we reached the SAME end product ... they were not trying to "re-train " me etc
I'm sorry but they genuinely wouldn't nunderstand they just would think i'm dumb and that it has nothing to do with something like ADHD
@toughTiger6481
When you say that "i am the one that will need to find ways to adapt to how he's trying to teach"
I just don't see any way i could adapt, maybe you can give me some examples? Because no matter what i do i never can remember what they tell me at work
it's a real problem because they give me instructions really often and when you're working with machineries that are worth +200k a mistake can be disastrous, which also make me anxious and stressed at work
@max58
Yes, I understand i have worked in serious situations that a mistake could cause serious issues or risk loss potentially of $$.
when i say find ways to adapt ..
example ...... i wrote before............that i re wrote a list of instructions in a language i understood more clearly as some items are wrote from other perspective or some items referred to same piece of equipment / program by different names .....
i noted all ways an item/ process was referred to because when speaking to different people made it clear we were talking about same thing.
in verbal instructions I TOO took notes and asked further questions to clarify why things are done this or that way ....
IT seems short sided of employer to not make sure the understanding is being met not just we told you. .........when such big $$ a mistake or misstep could cause.
I have also worked with people whom stressed the worst case scenarios or mad eit over complicated to basically freeze an apprentice or someone learning............... the HARDER they made it seem the more valuable they believe they are.
SO many factors in human nature to examine when wondering why the information is not being taken in.
I was ONLY just suggesting it might be more then A person having attention issues...
but maybe i am wrong....
@max58
Sorry to hear you're struggling on the farm and in your life in general. I think sticking it out there would be ideal if you want to finish your apprenticeship but not if the price is too high such as your mental health or potentially your life. I hope you're able to find the support you need hear on 7cups! Reach out if you need someone to chat with.
@max58
I guess I have not communicated clearly.... i was giving you options other then jumping to ADHD or some Attention diagnosis. I feel MOST of the people whom have trouble with learning jobs/ or instruction it is more often the learning type issue .......
Your original post seemed to think you were the issue my theory was... Maybe not....
I was trying to help by offering another possibility but you seemed to read something else in my posts.