Need help!

Hi everyone, I'm Fer, and I been struggling with PMO since I'm 16, now I'm 27. Ive passed from all kind of material, visual, reading, etc. My latest "discovery" was sexting with random people in chatroom apps. i'm a virgin, has no friends, never has a relationship, abusive/narcissist father who recently passed away. Ive been teiyng to quit for years, my "accountabity partner" was My mom, since I don't know anyone else to tell, but she has her own problems already. I dream to marry and have a family, fulfill My dream to work as an artist, but how could I if i'm this way? I feel like a piece of garabage every time I send pics to strangers, but I need stronger content every time and I don't wanna think where I could end up. I don't know what else to Say. Sorry my bad English.