How do I fight the urge while alone?
I've been addicted to porn for roughly 15 years. Recently has been off and on. 2 months free currently. Now I find my mind thinking about it. The real reason why I stopped is because I started talking to a girl I was heavily interested in. She was great for me. We stopped talking a few days ago. We knew a relationship wasn't going to work out and we had stuff to work on. Now she's not here. I actually liked her so much and cared for her and started to fall for her a bit. My heart hurts and now the urge has come back quite strong. I'm a Christian and know the devil is tempting me because I'm the weakest I've been in a long time. I feel broken, because I briefly thought I found my wife and she's not here. I don't want to give in. I can't. But it's hard. I just need help feeling whole again and not relapsing. This is a very hard time in my life. Maybe the hardest.
I felt you're emotions as I read. Keep in mind.. positive mindset results to a positive outcome. Prayer is a powerful instrument, please try it. In due time you're heading process will be much better on a positive note
I think it's very mature that you can reach out for help and desire change. The core element of pornography addiction is a need for intimacy. There are ways to enjoy intimacy without pornography or even physical sexuality. Your brain has developed neural pathways to meet that need through pornography, as a habit. Even opening ourself up like this is a form of intimacy, being vulnerable, and can help you form new habits. What are some forms of intimacy that you can practice within your benefits and values that can help your meet your need and increase the fire of your faith? I think it's also importantly that you continue to believe you can overcome this! We believe in you and are rooting for you!