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Coping with boyfriend's porn addiction

13KittyCat May 13th, 2021

Hello everyone, I wanted to share what I'm going through and maybe get some tips on how to deal with this. My boyfriend and I have been dating for about half a year. When we were getting to know each other I asked him about his porn usage. He admitted he watches it and that he had a bad addiction to it when he was in high school but he has gotten better and that he still working on it. I really liked his honesty and I've been trying to help him overcome this addiction. I have asked him to be honest with me and tell me whenever he watches it. He has been honest and told me about it a few times, but usually I have to ask. I show love and support when he doesn't watch it and when he does and tells me about it. However, most of the time he hides it and lies. The fact that he watches porn makes me feel sad but when he hides it and lies to me it makes it worse and it hurts me. I'm trying to be understanding, but it makes me upset and I dont understand why he still lies to me. How can I cope with feeling upset, unloved, and feeling like he's choosing porn over me? I feel like this situation is very toxic for me, but I do love him, is there any hope for this relationship to work?

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Arya08 May 13th, 2021

There is always hope! Thank you for sharing this here and just keep doing what you are, talk to him, let him know about what and how you feel about his addiction too. You both should really be transperant about this because I have been in a similar situation and communication is the key I feel.

1 reply
13KittyCat OP May 13th, 2021

Thank you so much for your advice.

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massiveHemlock June 17th, 2021

He was open enough to tell you about it in the first place - which is more than most guys. Focus on what you can control. Make it so he has no need to turn to porn. Have fun with it and engage him.