Are you an addict ??
If you wonder if you have an addiction, try answering these questions with honesty, between you and yourself !
1) Powerlessness over addictive sexual behavior ?
2) resulting unmanageability of life
3) reoccupation with sex leading to rituals.
4) progressive worsening of negative consequences
5) failed promises and attempts to stop acting out.
6) feeling of shame, pain, and self loathing.
all the above, 100% :(
@softIceCream7788
It is difficult for me because I have a loving relationship with my wife, an incredible sex life and an open relationship where I could be 100% honest with her but haven't been.
Every time I went for a happy ending massage or sex with a prostitute I felt dirty after, said it would be the last time and it never was. It wasn't something I needed, it was something that I did to cover up the pain or hurt I was feeling, or as procrastination.
I was sexually abused from 8-10 years old and am only coming to terms with that. I realize now that I've always had a secret sexuality that has taken the form of chronic masturbation, hours and hours of watching porn, voyeur spying on neighbors in the hopes that I see a flash of seeing them naked, or most recently with sex workers.
I just told my wife two weeks ago. She was shocked and hurt, she only married me because she thought that I was the most honest and ethical person she knew. She had asked me once if I'd ever contracted those services and I lied...even when I could have said the truth and I'm sure she would have helped me get through this as my greatest ally.
I am working on myself now. I'm seeking counciling, joining an SA group where I live...but I'm so scared that I'm going to lose her forever. That I've destroyed the best thing I've ever had in my life. I don't know what to do, I need some hope, I need some support.
@GoodGrapes85
Hello Grapes, thank you for sharing your struggles, I'm sorry to hear about your relationship. I'm glad that you are seeking help with therapy and SAA groups. Hang in there, I have heard simialr stories of couple going through situations like that, sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't. We all have flaws, nobody is perfect, we try to be honest, but sometimes shame takes over, and we fall into old habits. I admire your courage to be honest and open up, the beginning is hard. Try readin the first story in the Green book of SAA, the story is about the founder of SAA and his very first memory of sexual, I found that story inspiring and very motivating
