A lifelong battle (mature and/or 18+ audience)

Hey everyone who is reading this, today I'm going to share my story about my porn addiction and how it's been affecting me through the years. I'll give some advice and tips so that you can work on overcoming this addiction from my personal experience.

I was exposed to pornography when I was a child by various family members. I remember being the first time I found a porno DVD in my mom's room and being confused as to what it was. Another instance was me being asked to watch a video on the internet and seeing it for the first time. It's been with me for a long time now as I'm 22 years old writing this. But even though I was exposed at a young age, I never acted on any urges I had until I became a teen going into high school.

The first time I PMO'd was like the gateway to a drug. I had no idea how addicting it would become and how it would affect my life until I tried to stop. I would turn to porn as a crutch, as a way to relieve any negative emotions I felt like stress, loneliness, depression, anxiety, etc. It would be an escape for me in the same way video games were during that time but soon after I realized the negative effects. I would feel numb, low energy, irritable, hypersexual, and have my negative emotions be amplified to the point of wanting to do self-harm due to the lack of meaning and purpose I felt right after. I felt disappointed in myself for getting involved in something like that. It eventually got so bad that I became emotionally unstable and would withdraw me from family, friends, and everything.

Not until this past year in 2020 did I make a real effort to try to fight against this addiction. I began going to the gym regularly for 3x a week, I started to change my diet and learn to cook at home, I got involved in volunteering in my local church and using up as much idle time as I had, and really started to dig down dig into the root problem of this issue I was facing. I still have completely beat it as I do have a day(s) where I relaspe and slip up. But I know I am able to go at least more than 2 weeks without PMO and have reached 90 days before.

To anyone reading this please know that it is possible to free yourself from this addiction and to live your life again. I can't say exactly what will work for you but I know there is something for everyone. I do recommend to use a day tracker, and porn blocker on all your devices and share your struggle with someone you trust so you can have someone keep you accountable.

Thank you for reading and have a blessed day.