So worn down from this

I've tried to be strong over the years but at this point, I'm so worn down. I wasn't blessed to have a relatively normal grandma. Instead, I have a grandma who is utterly pill and alcohol addicted, and it's incredibly hard to live with. My living situation is complicated, so I won't get too deep into it, but it's taking a toll on me and my family. I'm a caregiver for my mom, and in addition to that I work from home. With the whole covid situation going on, I don't have any kind of refuge away from home and I'm falling into a deep depression. How do you cope and keep yourself strong and resilient when living with an addict? I've barely slept, the rest of my family has gotten 0 sleep all because grandma hasn't slept. She's just been awake all night and all day yelling and saying utter nonsense from being strung out. It's hard to feel compassion toward grandma. All I can feel is anger, upset, and resentment. I wish I could be a kinder person. I know I'm capable of it. But her addictions are seriously taking a toll and I'm stuck here for the time being; leaving isn't an option. Times like this, I wish I could afford therapy because I'm having such a rough time. The number of days I feel stressed far outnumber days where I feel at peace. At this point, I feel my family and I are cursed to a life of stress and unhappiness. I just really needed to vent. Thank you for taking the time to read this.