Husband ? Addict for 3 out of 4 years
I feel beyond devastated my husband of 2 years together 4 lied and was using drugs behind my back for 3 years. In that time we had a little girl, got married and I wanted to buy a house. Once I caught him I kicked him out I told him if he relapsed I wasnt going to be there I had a zero tolerance policy. He is now in rehab. I’m angry over all the times he couldn’t help pay bills not knowing he spent his money on drugs and watched me struggle to take care of everything. I have 2 to older kids as well that I could have had taken away if there was a problem. I don’t even know if I love him. I thought it was just me falling out of love but all along it was him pushing me with his withdrawal and anger I thought he needed mental help forced him to see a therapist. How do you love an addict.
Hello @Memyselfandi01
Firstly, looove your profile picture! Amazing!
Your feelings are 100% valid, after what he has done to you, you have every right to feel what you feel, whether it’s anger, sadness, frustration. Nobody can tell you how to feel.
When was the last time you took care of yourself? Sat down with a nice cuppa? Went for a nice walk with the kids? At the moment your husband needs to take care of himself and you need to do the same, take the time now to reflect on what happened and figure out if there is a future, if there is, what rules would you want to set up to ensure you’re comfortable in the relationship?
Best wishes
F r e n c h M a r b l e s
⚫ Quality Mentor ⚫Listener Coach ⚫Forum Supporter ⚫Project Agent
Press the ‘Reply’ button to respond to me, so I can get a notification, otherwise I might not even see it!
I am a daughter of a addict. I am very close with my mother and we talk a lot. Him being in rehab is a lot further then most get. My mother works too jobs well my dad seldom went to work. My poppop helped pay the bills. My mom worry was always me getting taken away because of him. You need to see rehab can help people turn around but you need to do what’s best for you and your kids. You can love a person without loving their addiction. Addiction is a inesss that can get so bad. You have to remember you don’t hate them you hate their illnesses. It is hard to love a addict is you forget that that’s not them. My dad got better and fell back. You need to remember that it’s you and your kids that matter. He will Ty to run back to drugs most likely and you need to watch. Now it’s so big of a problem that the man you know is not the man you fell I. Love with. He chose to go behind your back with drugs and get this bad but if it’s not to late he can choose to get better too. I wish the best for you and your kids. I hope for the sake of you and your kids he gets better. If leaving him is what’s best that’s what you do. You will most likely always love who he was you just need to foucas on how you love
him not his addiction and how you hate his addiction not him. I hope you the best.
