What do you do when you don't want to stop?

I keep having this thought that scares me about the fact that I don't want to stop using drugs. You know when they say the person has to become sick of it and has to want to stop for themselves? Well, that doesn't seem to ever be the case for me and it doesn't seem to matter what happened because of my drug addiction or anything. I do methamphetamine, and it's almost as hard to admit that I love using it even if it is neuro toxic and all of those horrible things as it is to admit you have a problem. It kind of feels similar, except it's a big step in the opposite direction and I feel super guilty because of that! I do have ADHD which my addiction doctor has mentioned trying to to put me on stimulants to curb the cravings which might be why I'm using methamphetamine (most likely) However, I have no idea what the "requirements" will be in order to get that prescription. I have a feeling that for liability reasons and their policy, I will probably have to withdrawal from methamphetamine to get that. And I'm sure it would be nice to have a constant prescription that I wouldn't have to pay for with my issue that has led me here in the first place, but the methamphetamine I do is laced with fentanyl (I've tested it) and then withdrawal symptoms are SO horrible because I've never been an opiate addict nor I have ever went through an opiate withdrawal. I tried once and I was in so much pain during that and I could hardly walk my body hurt so bad and ever since it has scared me to death trying to quit and I feel like that is the biggest reason I make an excuse not to stop by saying I love doing methamphetamine and whatever else I tell myself. Because 10 years ago when I started using this stuff, there wasn't any fentanyl in the supply and you could easily sleep it off and be fine. Times have changed and I'm just not doing well with those changes obviously lol thanks for reading!