On week 5, further than I ever thought I would get, but still struggling

I’ll write this as a journal really, hope that is okay.

I am tomorrow 5 weeks without any social media and those have been the best weeks of my recent life.

I have been able to overcome difficult thoughts and feelings I would have never thought to get past, really. But that is because I used to distract myself and never actually tried coping. Things have been tough the last few weeks as I am watching more news and cognitively, it is harder to apply my strategies to news as it is to for example random videos of my favourite YouTuber. I know that people also struggle with regulating news intake and I’m not alone with it. Deep down I know that I don’t have to watch everything but it is being difficult dealing with guilt and the fear of abandoning people whose lives are being talked about or important new policies in my country etc. So this makes it more difficult but I know one day I will figure out how to stay informed, how much information I need about my surroundings and will be able to be helpful in other ways that are more active.

so basically, I feel also very lucky to be able to figure this out in a calm environment and would love to one day be able to help people navigate through the world of online information.

On another note, I have noticed that the last two weeks I stumbled upon not being able to reach out to loved ones and new people. I struggle sharing my thoughts about addiction with my family and have a hard time calling my friends when I am really unwell.

contacting new people also is a really big challenge that I hope I will tackle in the next few weeks, but I am a bit frustrated that I feel ashamed to talk about finding new friends with my family. Ohh this feeling of shame, I really don’t like it. And also, it feels like a bit of a taboo in my family to talk about relationships, so I’m a bit afraid they can’t help me either, as we all are a bit closed off sometimes^^

but those are all issues from at least 5 years and I am now finally able to tackle them, due to the relative abstinence of the last Weekend, so I’m nervous and afraid, but also happy that they are appearing and I am trying to get past them for the first time.

🦄🦋🐼🐞🌿