Idk

I'm an addict and I'm clean most of the time unless I have a day off work I have fibermyalga carpoltonal arthritis ptsd adhd disylxia and a number of other things and I'm unmedicated cuz it causes issues in my marriage because of the side affects of my medicine it causes sexuldisfution so I have no interest in sex and it makes my husband think I'm not attracted to him so I'm always in extrem pain witch just makes me want to self medicate but my husband control weather I can ues or not and limits how much I can have and when I can have it I've always felt like I was a high functioning addict but idk if that's okay to think that I can go throw life high of my *** so I don't have pain it's a lose lose situation sorry first time posting and just ranting