I cannot handle myself when I drink
9 times out of 10 when I dri k I do it irresponsibly on an empty stomach and then I black out and do terrible things. The terrible things I do lead me back into depression and hating myself for what I do to the ones I love and I just want to stop it.
@peanut322
maybe drinking is an issue for you ....
when you plan or know you may be drinking is the plan of nothing on stomach a plan to get you drunk faster? do you just go from sober to gone as fast as possible?
you have regret / you most likely know what you look like doing these things and perhaps the lost respect from those around you from this behavior. where is a "friend" who would stop you or support you to make sure you do not do something bad?
Are you now a party game where others say watch "peanut " they will end up doing something and be drunk beyond belief. these folks will not help you as they enjoy the "shoe"
Knowing what you do is step one.... the next step to quit these behaviors.... this needs ACTION to set boundaries for yourself / seek real support / learning from past bad experiences .... and NOT repeating them.