Advice

@Landanchandler

Hello,

I don't have personal experience with meth but I wanted to let you know somebody is always looking at these posts and there is a big back log in the NEEDS REPLY section. If you are struggling with that addiction than please feel free to chat with me, i am not a Listener, but I come a family that's neck deep in one thing or another. Unfortunately I just found out my younger sister passed away almost a year ago from an OD, I know that drug addiction changes people greatly to the point they get desensitized to all the surrounding sad drama. I'm sending strength and hugs!~

Thank you for your reply. I'm not suffering from this addiction. My kid's mom is. I'm just trying to understand what may be going through her head.

Yea I know about all that. I've dealt with addicts for a long time unfortunately. She says she is clean and in an outpatient rehab. She has accumulated a total of 5 felonies in the past year. I have custody of our kids. She has not been around them for the past year. I practically begged her to seek help and stop associating with her bf. The guy who got her strung out. There is some underlying mental illnesses she won't address. I believe that she is thinking once she is in the clear it will be back to business as usual. That is how it's always been with her. I'm on the verge of terminating her parental rights to our kids. Just waiting on my attorney to file.

Now that is something we can relate to. Family court screws fathers over every time. I had to wait 3 years for her to screw up to gain custody.

Hi, I have been using meth for 6 months straight as a result of getting off cocaine. I may not have years of experience but I will tell you my personal experience. It was supposed to be a one time, one time only thing. The bag had more the next day, my friends left. “Another couple lines wouldn’t hurt anyone, I wasn’t smoking it. It is hardly meth; just stronger coke.” Is what I told myself over and over to make myself justify it. The bag finished and I didn’t fien for it, so I got more. Told myself it’s not addictive at all see! It worked so well for me; I was significantly happier, never came down, could go without sleeping or eating for days on end, was confident, and i was functioning without feeling so depressed all the time.

There was not a single issue in the world. I was by far the best version of myself. It made me look at my life in rose coloured glasses, I didn’t see the colour fastly draining out of my life. I lost 25 lbs in 2 weeks. Everyone began to look at me like a tweaker and distanced themselves. My cheek bones became visible and my eyes began to droop with black eye bags resting underneath them. I stopped going to school, failed the entire semester bc simply it was not important enough nothing was. Would not go to work without being *** geeked. Stopped checking up on people, became a very lonely person. Meth became my bestfriend. It was the greatest gift on earth in my eyes. I went insane for a bit, saw things no one else could see. Heard things no one else could hear. That didn’t matter though.. “this is medicine for my brain why would that matter!!”, That’s what I told myself lol. It was easter weekend, I did molly and meth which the hallucinations that *** caused is something I never want someone to experience. I also came down for the first time and have never felt worse. I cried for the entire time I was awake for no reason. That was the first day, I tried to quit. I got through the day; barely but I did. Next day, I went to get groceries so I begin to walk and have no thoughts of texting my dealer. I end up doing it without realizing bc of habit. Simply lasted not even 20 hours awake & sober. I actually wanted to quit but ROUTINE!! Key word; it became routine.

I never knew my dealer on a personal level but he invited me to go drive around w him. Long story short, I smoked it. Having family history addicted to this ***, that was THE ONE THING i stood by. “I will never smoke it promise” I didn’t even feel weird going against my morals. The next day, I had work. I was geeked tf out and you could tell. Plus I already had sores in my mouth, was in sm pain trying to talk. I went on a 5 day extreme binge. After the third night, I was so sleep deprived I would doze off mid conversation and insanely paranoid. I spent an insane amount of time obsessing over the crackback and perfect cloud, that was a sub-addiction omm. Now I had someone who supported my addiction!! It progressively got worse and worse. Mind you, I’ve lived a sheltered lifestyle for the most part and stay to myself and only engage in what I know. I started hanging out with people i never thought I would be around in places I never thought I would be. I have spent countless, sleepless nights in bud stops or trap houses getting high or watching someone else smoke fetty in my face, that was another thing I said I would never be around. I perfected crackbacks and crack, an additional addiction & source for money.

To generally answer your question: It turns you into a different person. Your entire social circle changes drastically. Your morals become non-existent. Your goals disappear. Your smile fades away. You don’t know the person you are looking at in the mirror. You are running away from something but after that honeymoon phase, you will never feel the same type of happiness again. Regardless, you will keep chasing it because why would you let the worlds best feeling leave?